Self, Sex

The #1 Thing You Can Do To Improve Your Sex Life IMMEDIATELY

Photo: Enrique Arnaiz Lafuente/Shutter Stock
The Thing You Can Do To Improve Your Sex Life Immediately

There are few things in life that we expect to be good at without either education nor practice. Sex, unfortunately, is one of those things. 

I talk to women all of the time who have very little knowledge, practice, or experience with sex. They usually have very little enjoyment of it, too.  They say things like:

  • "I can't have an orgasm with my partner."
  • "I'm just not that interested in sex."
  • "I don't feel any pleasure unless he goes down on me."
  • "I'd rather do anything but have sex — it's so boring."

These are the words spoken by women who have not fully discovered the riches found deep within the human experience of sexuality.
There are a TON of really good things that sex brings to your life:

  • It helps you bond with your partner
  • It helps you heal after a fight or traumatic life experience
  • It improves the quality of your sleep and your life
  • It boosts the immune system and increases your pain tolerance
  • It Heightens your spiritual awareness and increases your sense of inner peace.

Women who are opting out of sex are missing out on all of these fabulous physical and emotional benefits they could be reaping! Women who are burnt out from overwork and childcare, women who are bored or uninterested in their spouse, women who think they have to wait for the perfect, lifelong partner to have sex, and women who are waiting to "feel like it" — they ALL have the wrong idea about sex.

Sex is not something that you wait around for —​ Sex is something you go after.

No waiting until you're in "the mood" or stalling until the kids finally leave the house — in the same way that we don't always feel like working out or preparing healthy food, we choose the higher road as much as possible because it's what's best for us and those we love.

It's the same with sex. We choose to have sex, choose to give sex and choose to explore sex, even when we're not totally feeling it — because it's good for us and the people we love.

And that is the one thing that took my sex life to the next level: Choosing to have sex even when I didn't feel like it. 

This can help the married couple who is not having sex, the stressed out mom ready to lose it, the single woman waiting to meet her match, and all the women out there who have never experienced much pleasure with sex. 

I know there are many people out there that will disagree with me — those that view sex as super-duper spiritual will raise their arms in alarm.

"What are you doing telling women out there to have sex when they don't want to?" they'll say. "Women have already been traumatized by sex enough as it is."

But I'm not asking women to be victims to sex. I'm asking them to engage their sexual energies regularly and healthily for their own health and pleasure. I'm asking them to see sex like a meditation practice, or exercise regime, or those three healthy meals a day that we sometimes push through and make ourselves do because they're good for us!​

Why should you CHOOSE sex?

  • Because it energizes and restores you.
  • Because it's good for your immune system.
  • Because it's FUN.
  • Because you will slow down and be present with your partner, you will give and receive, you will be in touch with your bodies and you will create something beautiful.

It doesn't always happen right away, but that's okay. It's not always pleasurable from start to finish, but it's never painful. It has the potential to be boring in moments, but it has greater potential to be life-altering in others.

Sometimes, out of a moment of feeling nothing, a whole universe of sensation will open up to you that you never knew was there. In that in-and-out motion of sex, that we all mock and mimic, is the recipe for creation. It's powerful. Stick with it, invest time in it, and devote yourself to it as a practice, and you will reap the benefits. It is meant to transform you. 

This is what took my sex life to the next level — for good — and I've never turned back. Choose sex, and you will discover yourself, your lover, and sexuality, in a way you never dreamed possible. 

Lauren Brim is leading the 21st Century sexual revolution. Lauren works with savvy singles and bad-ass coupled women committed to experiencing themselves and their sex lives in a radical way. Her book, "The New Rules of Sex" is a treasure map to the holy grail of sex. Pick up your copy on Amazon today.