8 Signs You’re Incompatible With Your Boyfriend

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8 Signs You’re Incompatible With Your Boyfriend

Have you ever doubted your partner? Just thought to yourself that maybe — just maybe — you might not be a good fit?

Incompatible couples rarely ever go far.

Even if you know in your gut that something is off and that maybe you're incompatible with your boyfriend, you might think that it's nothing more than just "how things are." Whatever you do, don't just "deal with it."

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You need to find someone who wants to be compatible with you and who you want to be compatible with. This way, you both feel confident, comfortable, and fulfilled in the relationship.

Why is compatibility important?

Relationships are fun at first — and they should be. But if you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone, the relationship turns into an agreement.

This means that the two of you have decided to merge lives together and agree to support each other through thick and thin. You need to be compatible with your partner in more ways than simply just "getting along."

Every relationship has dealbreakers that stop the relationship dead in its tracks — no matter how much you love each other.

Having this compatibility ensures that the relationship will last.

People change with time, which might make them incompatible down the road. This doesn't mean that they weren’t incompatible at one point.

This connection can be a short-lived one or a long relationship, depending on the people and their needs as they grow and change.

Here are 8 signs you're incompatible with your boyfriend.

1. Your partner doesn't care about any of your needs.

When you're with someone, you want them to want you and care about some of the bigger things in your life. While they might not have the same care as you do about them, they should care that you care about them.

Your needs are important. Healthy relationships are always a two-way street.

When it comes to sexual needs, generally, one person wants to have sex more than the other, which can lead to a power shift. The person who doesn't want to have sex as often will have all the power, because they get to decide how and when all of the sex takes place in the relationship.

If you find that you and your partner can't agree on a sex schedule that meets both of your needs, it's likely a dealbreaker.

While you may be able to get other needs met through friends or hobbies, this is one area of the relationship that cannot be satisfied outside of it — unless the two of you are OK with an open relationship.

2. You want different things.

One of you wants to travel the world and swim in all of the oceans, while the other wants to settle down, raise a family, and get a steady job. This is incompatibility.

You both want different things out of life. If one of you settles for the other, this can lead to resentment, especially with wants that are as far off from each other as the ones above.

Having a different idea of right or wrong, or what you stand up for and believe in can also cause a lot of issues in a relationship.

One of you may want to join the Peace Corps while the other believes this is a waste of time. This, again, is wanting two different things from the core values.

3. Your partner is a caretaker but rarely a caregiver.

We all want to be wanted and appreciated. If your boyfriend is always taking the care and affection but never giving it, then it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship.

A study suggested that those who are not compatible are simply not happy. They are not happy with each other or the relationship, which can turn into being unhappy with themselves.

4. You handle money differently.

If you have different viewpoints and values on money, the relationship will not go anywhere.

You might love spending money — who doesn’t like buying nice things? But if he's a tight penny pincher, it might be a problem.

You both need to be on the same page.

5. You’re not on the same intellectual level.

It's not fun to always have to explain things to someone. Or even worse, when they get bored with your explanations and have no interest in talking about what you want to talk about.

When your intellectual capacities don't line up, it's frustrating. Not only can one person become annoyed with the other, but you might have different ideas of fun, different beliefs, or even different viewpoints of very important topics or subjects.

This will cause a lot of strain between the two of you. Holding on like nothing is wrong can then become an even bigger issue.

If you feel that many of your conversations end with you being frustrated or feeling like you didn't get your point across, you might be intellectually incompatible.

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6. You won’t admit when you’re wrong.

Being stubborn can happen to anyone, that's not a big problem by itself. But if you’re constantly butting heads, then this is going to get very tiring.

Admitting that you're wrong shouldn't feel like a defeat. Being wrong doesn't mean that you "lost," it means that you're human.

You need to know when you’re wrong and say so. You cannot grow from winning an argument on something that you’re not right about.

If you're feeling the need to prove that you're right all the time, that isn't healthy either. Do you want to be right or in a relationship?

The two of you need to act as one team all the time — the two of you against the problem. Be happy to admit when you're wrong and tell him you messed up.

When you're wrong, this should feel like a joyous occasion where you can tell your partner, "I know I made a mistake and I want to learn to get better with you. Thank you for helping me grow into a better person."

Sounds cheesy? Yup. Easy to do? Nope. Super effective way to stay in a relationship for many years? Definitely!

7. You don’t spend time together.

If you're not spending time together or setting time for date nights, it's not going to work.

You’re going to be with someone, but you'll feel alone. You shouldn’t feel single when you’re in a relationship.

Overcome the isolated feeling is to block out a chunk of time to have a date night and spend time together.

However, if you still can’t come together to spend time with one another, then it's best you part and go your separate ways completely. It's harsh but so is being in a relationship that's not working for years and years.

8. Communication is not an important factor.

Communication in any relationship should be a big determining factor in how you both react and deal with one another.

If you have a healthy relationship, then communication should be thought out, open, and allow you to easily get along and work out issues without having to worry about fighting or things getting too heated.

Communication might be hard, but having any or some is always an ideal way to have a relationship. Make the most of how you speak with each other, and feel confident about being able to work through issues.

Compatibility is not something that you just have — but it's something you can make happen. It has to be important to you.

If you're feeling alone while in a relationship, then it's not something you should feel forever.

If the two of you are incompatible, there is nothing wrong with either of you. You just don’t work well together, and it wasn't meant to be.

So, when you’re looking for a man, make sure to keep these compatibility tips in mind. This way, the appreciation and affection are there, so you both feel loved and fulfilled in the relationship.

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Lana Otoya is a dating coach for strong successful women based out of Vancouver, BC. For more information, visit her website.