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Why can't guys be more like this?
By JoLynn Braley — Written on Jul 13, 2019
For women trying to learn how to attract men, it all comes down to your desire to stay away from a sub-par relationship. Because the quickest way to attract your ideal man is to become your ideal you, in mind, body, and life.
As a certified permanent weight loss coach (and dog lover!), I end up coaching my clients on their relationships, even when they come to me for weight loss. The topic of relationships comes up when my clients want to lose weight because the struggles they have with food and weight are not about the fat on their body nor are they about the food.
The excess fat on your body is only a symptom of your real problem, and the food is just the tool you use as a result of the real problem that hasn't been healed yet. The reasons you struggle with emotional eating, binge-eating, self-sabotage and being overweight are due to a life problem.
When you change yourself, the people who match your healthy vibe will naturally be attracted into your life. This includes the man of your dreams who you'd love to be in a relationship with. That weight loss coaching call led me to think about my dog. You see, I absolutely love my little pup. He's a Pomeranian and the cutest little boy you've ever seen.
And while I'm not literally going to marry my dog, Happy, he does have the qualities I would want in a healthy, happy relationship with my ideal man. In fact, the way I feel hanging out with my pup each day is the way I want to feel emotionally with my ideal man.
I don't have to make the relationship with my dog work the way I've felt I had to do in the past with men I've dated, which is exactly what I was speaking with my coaching clients about when the topic of men and relationships came up.
Here are the three reasons I would marry my dog. Keep in mind that each of these reasons embodies the same qualities I'd want in my ideal relationship with a human man.
1. I love him, and he loves me, too.
I love everything about his little Pomeranian doggie self. I love his little face, his pretty brown eyes, his little teeth, and his little fluffy butt. I love my dog, Happy, but it's not just about his looks.
Have you ever dated a guy who looked good, but found that the chemistry and conversation fell flat? I love Happy because he's got a great personality, he's happy (imagine that!), and he's open to travel (he goes with me everywhere in his little car seat). I'd love to be with a man who is fun, a happy person, and loves to travel the world.
This isn't a one-way street, though, because Happy loves me just as much as I love him. This is an essential element I want in my ideal relationship — it must be mutual, on all levels.
2. He's always there for me.
He's never too busy to listen. He doesn't break our dates to go to Trader Joe's, CVS, or on our healthy lifestyle walk 5-7 days a week. And he doesn't complain. Well, that's not quite true. He does complain if I don't play fetch with him once a day, but even his way of complaining is awesome. He just sits there and stares at me.
This is another essential element of my ideal relationship, which also includes me being there for my ideal man, just like I'm there for Happy. Happy can count on me, too. In fact, a couple of months ago he almost choked to death. I did the doggie Heimlich on him and dislodged the piece of his chew toy that was caught in his throat.
There wasn't any time to take him to the vet, I had to just do what I had to do, which I did. My ideal man and I would have each other's backs in the exact same way.
3. He's an active participant in my healthy lifestyle.
Another essential quality my ideal man must have is a commitment to living a healthy, fit lifestyle with me — not just in body, but also in mindset, since mindset is 92.8 percent of success in any area of life (and why my work focuses on mindset in order to achieve permanent weight loss).
My dog is a vital ingredient of my daily, healthy lifestyle. We walk together a minimum of 5 days a week, which almost always ends up being 7 days a week. Before I switched to focusing mainly on Facebook Live videos, I used to do a lot of walking scopes on Periscope with him. Folks loved seeing Happy pop up with me on my walking scopes.
Happy even keeps me company in the kitchen while I'm prepping and cooking my clean-eating meals, and, believe it or not, he loves fresh veggies. He's not a vegetarian, of course, since dogs are meat eaters, but he does love fresh broccoli, cauliflower, and green beans as a treat.
Happy is very healthy and fit, he loves to play fetch daily, he loves to run outside and chase after his ball in the fenced in yard, and he loves our daily walks. Of course, he makes a few pit stops before we get started on our non-stop 30-45 minute walk, but hey, he's a dog!
All of these qualities are what I would want to find in my ideal man. A man who is fit, loves to get out and walk, lives a healthy lifestyle eating mainly fresh, real food, and, of course, loves animals.
Remember, the easiest way to do all of this is to get to living your ideal life now before you meet your ideal man. That way it will be easy for you to attract a fit, healthy guy who matches your fit, healthy lifestyle and body!
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JoLynn Braley is a weight loss coach and the founder of The Inner Self Diet, helping her clients ends their emotional eating and self-sabotage.