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Become irresistible.
By Alex Cormont — Written on Nov 30, 2018
Do you have your eye on a special someone that you’d like to seduce? Do you want to know how to be a real femme fatale? When it comes to being sexy, it’s not about what you wear, what you say, or even what you look like.
The best tips for how to be sexy and more attractive start from the inside out, which means you can learn how to get a guy to like you and feel even better about yourself at the same time!
With the help of a survey I conducted on my Facebook page, I found that one of the biggest questions women have is about how to be sexier — whether it's about how to attract men or simply wanting to feel great in your own skin.
There is nothing sexier than a confident woman, so in order to be the sexy woman you are, you need to start feeling great about yourself first.
Many people make the mistake of thinking that, in order to know how to attract men and feel sexy, they need to pretend to be someone else. The truth is every single person is unique and brings something special to the table in their own way.
When you know how to highlight and showcase your best qualities, you will start feeling much more confident which, in turn, will make you start feeling hotter and sexier.
If you want to know how to be more attractive and start feeling sexier in your own skin, it’s up to you to figure out why you don’t feel sexy in the first place and what you can do about it!
Sure, it’s easy to feel sexy when you’re a Victoria’s Secret model, but do you have to look like that in order to feel good about yourself and your ability to attract men? Of course not! Besides, even some of the most exquisitely sexy beautiful women struggle with issues related to self-confidence.
It doesn't matter if you’re the most beautiful woman on the face of the planet or not — if you are not feeling confident, you’re not going to feel or know how to be sexy.
Contrary to what you may have been taught in the past, feeling attractive and sexy ;is entirely under your control.
It’s important to feel sexy because we, unfortunately, live in a society where far too many people don’t love themselves and are not proud of who they are. We live in a culture that could benefit from more promotion of positive body image.
The media presents impossible standards of what is beautiful and sexy; it promotes extreme dieting to be as thin as possible; it frowns upon aging. Fortunately, there is a movement that encourages positive body image and self-acceptance, but there are still so many women that will try anything to get rid of a few wrinkles or a few pounds.
But you can be sexy simply by being you. You don’t need to be someone else to get attention from a person or to attract men.
If you learn how to showcase your best qualities and be confident in your allure, you’ll attract guys like moths to a flame. And, if you’re looking to seduce someone in particular, acting like someone else just to get them is not going to get you anywhere.
Think about it: You might make him fall in love with you, sure. But then, do you really want to have to keep acting like someone else? Or what if he figures out that you weren't being yourself in the first place and then things get tense?
This tactic might work with a one night stand, but if you want something that’s actually going to last, you’re going to have to be yourself and put your best foot forward.
Here are 11 secrets for how to get a guy to like you that the sexiest women use to attract men instantly.
1. Accept your flaws.
This is one of the single most important things to do!
You have to learn to love yourself and be your own ally when you’re working on being sexier.
2. Develop your own ideal image.
Think about what you find to be beautiful and sexy, what makes you happy, what makes you feel alive, and what lights a fire in your soul.
Your idea of beauty is more important than someone else’s and this will help you set a clear goal.
3. Focus on yourself.
One of the absolute worst things people, when they want to be sexier, is compare themselves to others.
Focus on who you are and what you bring to the table. Center yourself. You can use tools like yoga, tai-chi, or meditation to help with this!
4. Make conscious decisions geared toward your goals.
Have a clear picture of what you want and make sure that your choices get you closer to your goals.
Instead of trying everything and anything, make sure you’re focused and that you think about what exactly you want.
5. Maintain a positive state of mind.
Work to clear out any negative thoughts and develop a positive sense of self. Replace any negativity with creativity, lightheartedness, and confidence.
If you find that you’re struggling with this, working with a coach can really help.
6. Take action!
Go through your closet and get rid of anything you don’t feel good about. Check out style blogs or work with a stylist. Or, go shopping with friends.
This way, you’ll feel confident about your purchases if you were feeling unsure. One of the best ways to feel sexy is to feel good about how you’re presenting yourself.
7. Smile.
There is nothing more powerful and sexier than a genuine smile. Radiant women exude joy and contentment, and she has a magnetic smile. Who wouldn't want to be around someone like that? Being sexy doesn't mean that you have to look like Jessica Rabbit. It’s about being something whom others want to be around.
You need to smile at all times, even when you’re not feeling it. But, it’s important to cultivate inner happiness and the ability to be open to others so that you can establish and maintain a magnetic personality that attracts others like moths to a flame.
A genuine smile communicates that you really are enjoying talking to someone, which in turn makes them feel great as well.
Of course, it’s challenging to smile at someone who’s done you wrong, but I encourage you to share your smile with people that will smile back, as this shows that they’re on the same page as you. It’s a great way to attract a like-minded individual.
8. Love yourself.
If you want to be sexy, you have to love yourself. Many people find it difficult to see themselves in a positive light. They fixate on things they don’t like about themselves, whether they’re physical attributes or characteristics like shyness or awkwardness.
You need to change the way you see "flaws". For example, some people might say things like, "How could anyone think I’m hot with this nose?", "I am so awkward that guys just think I’m weird", or "I’m ugly and no one even notices me.”
When you think like this, work on self-confidence by reconditioning the way you talk and think about yourself.
For example, "There is someone who will love me as I love them, and this has nothing to do with the way my nose looks or doesn’t look", "Sure, I might be a little goofy sometimes but that doesn't mean that someone isn't going to find it charming and endearing," or "I am brilliant and I am not going to be afraid to show this quality when I am meeting people."
Being sexy is about loving and accepting everything about yourself and being proud of who you are. People pick up on confidence very quickly and if you’re confident in what you bring to the table, they will be intrigued as well.
Don’t compare yourself to other people. Besides, if everyone was the same, things would be rather boring, don’t you think?
You have to really get to know yourself and know how to highlight your favorite things about yourself.
9. Take care of your physical health.
When it comes to looking and feeling sexy, physical exercise is one of the biggest tools, and it’s not just because it physically improves your body. It also improves your mood and energy levels, which makes it considerably easier to have positive exchanges with people that you’re attracted to.
If you haven’t yet, begin going to the gym or trying new activities like yoga or boxing. Physical changes will come fast, but so will mental ones. If you’re diligent about this, you will find that you will begin to feel sexier in no time.
How you feel on the inside is what’s going to make the biggest difference. If you’re not feeling good about yourself, you’re more likely going to attract surface level relationships.
Being physically healthy is also sexy because it reflects that you take care of yourself and love yourself. People are attracted to what they want to be like, so always make sure that you’re working on being the best version of yourself.
10. Wear the right clothing.
Whether you have your eye on a special someone or not, there are certain ways to dress that are certain to catch a person’s attention.
The easiest thing to remember is this: Less isn't necessarily more. You don’t have to be scantily clad if you want to be considered sexy.
Choose one thing that you love about your body and accentuate it. For example, if you have great legs, wear fitted pants or a shorter dress or skirt, and leave the rest covered. If you’re wearing a shorter skirt, you don’t have to wear a low cut top as well.
It’s good to leave something to the imagination and leave him wanting more. Think of it as giving him a taste, a little appetizer if you will, and whet his appetite for more.
The sexiest women know how to keep it simple when it comes to their clothes so that they don’t distract from their personality. Focus on shapes that are flattering and colors that look good on you. You can embellish with sexy jewelry that subtly draws the eye to your skin.
One of the things that are regularly associated with sexy clothing is lace, so adding a bit of it doesn't hurt — even if it’s just some trim on a blouse. Red is a powerful color when it comes to clothing. It is associated with passion and fire, and if you feel comfortable wearing it, go for it!
If you want to take it to the next level, you can wear a slightly sheer top. Remember, totally see-through moves away from subtle and leaving things to the imagination. Remain tasteful and spark his imagination. Pay attention to the fabrics that you’re wearing.
Silks and linens are beautiful but can sometimes become unflattering because of the way they wrinkle and cling on the body. Heavier fabrics can be great because of the way they drape. If something is too bulky, you can always wear a belt around the waist.
Though you shouldn't show too much skin, you also don’t want to hide your body away under too many fabrics. You can be covered, but think about revealing some of your natural shapes.
Speaking of showing skin, think about what skin you want to show. Remember, that men are visual creatures so you can use this to your advantage when you’re thinking about how to dress classy and sexy at the same time.
There are certain things that you can do with your hair as well to draw the eye and signal confidence. For example, wearing your hair pulled away from your face.
Shoulders are also one of the sexiest things that women can show and they don’t get enough exposure. Off the shoulder tops and sweaters are sexy and understated. Heels are always sexy. Simple dresses (think "little black dress") are always sexy. Backless tops or dresses during dates are always enticing, as well.
But, overall, think about what makes you feel sexy and confident, and let the clothes amplify your attitude.
People often say, "Dress sexy for your age," and while it’s true, you might not feel comfortable in the same outfit at age 20 and at age 65, you don’t have to rule anything out that makes you feel sexy and good about your body. If you have the confidence to wear something that brings you joy, wear it! After all, clothing is a way to express yourself.
Ultimately though, more than the clothes that are on your body, it’s the attitude that you present that is going to make the biggest difference!
11. Avoid what makes you uncomfortable.
The biggest thing to avoid when you’re thinking "I want to be sexier" is doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Yes, it’s good to step outside of your comfort zone and try new things, but if you find yourself doing things that don’t make you feel good just for the sake of making someone think you’re sexy, you’re not on the right path.
If you hear that men think that heels are sexy and you don’t like the way you feel in them, then you don’t have to wear them! Try out different styles, while keeping in mind that you should focus on what looks best on your body. Don’t hesitate to ask your friends for their opinions on what looks good and what doesn't.
When you're figuring out how to make a guy fall in love with you, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not just to make someone find you attractive. You truly do have to be yourself if you want to be genuinely sexy!
There are many "rules" floating around out there, but it boils down to what makes you feel good about yourself and what boosts your self-esteem.
Make sure you also pay attention to your body language. Stand up straight and tall and look people directly in the eye.
Think about it: even if you’re wearing the sexiest outfit your love interest has ever seen, and yet you sit with hunched shoulders, gnawing the straw in your drink, nervously staring at the floor with your arms crossed, well … you're not sending the right image of yourself!
For the best result, you want to have a sexy attitude and pair it with an image of yourself that makes you feel sexy.
Alex Cormont, founder of French Relationship Expert, is an expert in dating and relationships based in Miami, FL, who works with women to guide them to find the right man and have the relationship they've always dreamt of. His expert advice has been featured on Forbes, Huffington Post, GQ, and Elle.
This article was originally published at French Relationship Expert . Reprinted with permission from the author.