Just Dating: Should You Get Him Something For Christmas?

Just Dating: Should You Get Him Something For Christmas?
Love, Family

A. Do I really want to give him a gift?

Does it make me smile or feel good thinking about it? Pretty straightforward … If you answer yes to this, then proceed to the next question. If you don't, then stop here. 

No worries; the majority of men are not bothered about whether you give them a gift or not in the early stages. But if at some point if you change your mind, as we women do, then … By all means go to question B.

B. If I give him a gift and he doesn’t get me one, will I be cool with that, or will I hold it against him?

This one is important … Uber important!

We women are notorious for doing things in order to elicit a certain response from men. "If I do this for him, then he will take a hint and do this as well." But in reality, this does very little to help men understand what you want from him.

So it is much more important for you to ask yourself question B first. And if you can honestly say "YES, I can give him a gift and not secretly or not-so secretly hold it against him if he doesn't reciprocate," then absolutely, you should get him a gift for Christmas. And you are officially ready for the second question:

What should I get him?

You see, most men are not looking for the perfect woman despite what some say, and most men are not expecting the perfect gift from you. In fact, it makes a lot of men super uncomfortable when you overdo it present-wise if you are not exclusive yet.

So do both of you a favor and don't over think this one. If you've only been dating a couple of weeks, keep it small and not super sentimental, yet thoughtful. If you've been dating longer, keep the gift in proportion to where you still feel comfortable and not pissed off if he doesn't reciprocate.

Also I personally like the idea of giving something representative of the fun that you're having together, or that shows you pay attention to what interests him.

Here are some fun gifts for him if you are falling short on ideas this holiday season:

  • Movie Tickets to the next Action Adventure Flick.

  • If you feel like splurging; Concert Tickets for a favorite band of his or a comedy show. (Bonus: you get to spend an evening together:)
  • You could give him something like a nice bar of chocolate with an attached note that says: "Psst ... Don't tell anyone, but I think I might like you a little ;-)"

Or one of my personal favorites:

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  • Hot Cocoa with Peppermint sticks. Yum, and very difficult to go wrong with.

Also … stay away from these gift giving mistakes I have made … (still shaking my head years later)

  • Don't try to show how cool you are with him looking at other women by gifting him with a 'Sports Illustrated' calendar.
  • Don't show how gifting-clueless you are by giving him a 'Best Buy' or any retail gift certificate.

(Yes, I actually did these; I want to crawl under my blankie now.)

Finally, if you can't come up with something ... AGAIN, NO WORRIES. Especially early in dating, most men are not concerned with whether or not you get them a gift. It's actually better to err on the side of no gift than a thoughtless or crappy gift.