4 Specific Signs You're In Love With An Emotionally Unavailable Woman
She won't be there for you.
andreonegin / Shutterstock Do you constantly wind up dating women who aren't just a little chilly, but rarely show up for you when you need them? If so, then you might be stuck in a pattern of forming toxic relationships with emotionally unavailable women.
My best dating advice for dealing with someone who is emotionally unavailable is to find someone else who can be there for you both in a physical and emotional sense. But before you go breaking things off, you should probably be sure that is really the situation you're dealing with.
Does the woman you're dating often come across as cold as ice?
Here are 4 signs you're in love with an emotionally unavailable woman.
1. The relationship always revolves around her.
Do you find that the woman you are dating is inflexible and refuses to compromise? Maybe you find yourself always changing your schedule to accommodate her routine or what she wants to do.
Often, people who are afraid to commit to a relationship will not go out of their way for their partner, leaving their partner feeling resentful. Simply put, if it’s always about her, this is a sign that you could be in a toxic relationship and dating an emotionally unavailable woman.
2. You don't feel like she gets you.
One of the most beautiful things you can find in a relationship is to be fully known and accepted by someone. However, you might find that you know everything about your girlfriend — like her favorite hang-out spots, dreams for her future, her favorite memories from childhood, and even her celebrity crush — and yet, she seems to know very little about you.
Maybe you feel that you are always the one running the extra mile to make the relationship work. Mile after mile adds up, and it will start to get exhausting! She may expect you to be there at the drop of a hat but is emotionally unavailable when you need her most.
3. She's always casual about your relationship.
Do you find that the woman you are dating is super casual about the relationship?
She may disappear for days at a time and finds nothing wrong with this. In addition, she will often not commit to going out on dates when you ask her. She seems to always be leaving her options open.
If this is the case, she is either not into you or she is commitment-phobic.
4. She guilt trips you.
Do you find yourself always apologizing even when it’s not your fault, constantly feeling guilty in your relationship, but can’t make sense as to why?
Sounds like your girlfriend is taking you on the guilt trip ride, which is par for the course with emotionally unavailable women who are only capable of having toxic relationships.
If she seems to always find flaw after flaw in you, and you are the one consistently asking for forgiveness, she could be emotionally unavailable and keep you at a distance. Someone who cannot accept blame or admit when they are wrong is going to make any argument or issue about the other person, and it’s never their fault.
After reading these four signs, you may realize it's been the story of your romantic life and you have been falling for emotionally unavailable women for quite some time.
At this point, it might be time to take a look at yourself and question what's leading you to choose these types of women.
It could be that one of your parents was emotionally unavailable and distance feels comfortable. Maybe you self-sabotage and attract toxic relationships because you don’t believe you deserve a healthy relationship or love.
Whatever it may be, change is possible and you already took the first step by recognizing these dating patterns.
Take the next move forward and work with an expert to make a permanent change to having a longer lasting relationship, because having a loving and healthy relationship with mutual investment is worth the time.
Janie Lacy is a licensed mental health counselor and owner of Life Counseling Solutions (LCS), which specializes in helping men and women to achieve happier, healthier relationships.