Is Your 'Independent Woman' Attitude Holding You Back From Love?

If you're acting like a man, you sure as hell won't attract one. Try tapping into your femininity.

too cool for school

While we perceive strong, independent and ambitious women as not needing a man, many women like this DO find love and get married. When Amal Alamuddin—a powerful, strong and internationally recognized woman—married George Clooney, you might have thought she just got lucky ... or were you wondering, "Will I find true love"?

If you're a strong, successful woman, acting masculine in your professional life may have brought you accolades and promotions to positions of greater responsibility. Yet, when it comes to love, acting like a man in dating and relationships has the opposite effect.


For instance, if you had sex early on, initiated too much or tried to control things, these behaviors most likely pushed men and love away. Ultimately, acting like a man causes a man to lose his desire to care for and protect you.

How do you reconcile being strong and independent woman, with a man's need to protect you?

Men feel most caring and protective when a woman connects with her feminine essence. Many feminists have a hard time reconciling being feminine with being strong. They think of femininity as being weak and fake, without realizing they can remain strong, independent AND authentically feminine.


Consider these perspectives:

  1. Masculinity and femininity are equally as strong. In some situations, using masculine qualities make better sense. In other situations, using feminine qualities makes more sense. In love, both masculine and feminine energy are necessary to experience and have a harmonious relationship.
  2. Just because a woman is being feminine doesn't mean she is being fake. If doing feels more natural to you, being feminine will feel unnatural and seem fake. Typically, the more a woman does when it comes to love, the less love she seems to get. Have you noticed this too? Instead of doing, femininity is more about being. It's about responding, receiving, being radiant, being vulnerable, setting the pace, listening to your intuition, letting things flow and unfold naturally, and trusting in love—all helping you relax into love. You can still be feminine and genuinely yourself.
  3. Connect with your inner feminine. If you've been acting more like a man, it's understandable that you aren't as connected with your inner feminine. This may lead you to think you just aren't a woman who is innately feminine. But this is like someone who doesn't exercise thinking they don't have muscles, simply because they can't see them. As they exercise, their muscles start to appear; when you practice exercising your inner feminine, you will feel more connected with your feminine essence. By connecting with your inner feminine, you bring out a man's desire to care for and protect you.

Do you have to make yourself vulnerable to allow love to happen?

You might think being vulnerable is weak, but what is really happening is that the thought of vulnerability with a man scares you. You must get past these fears because vulnerability is what lets love in. Being vulnerable may seem scary because it takes courage. It requires opening up and expressing your true thoughts and feelings, without concern of how others will perceive you.

If you're waiting for a masculine man to open up and be vulnerable first, you are fighting against reality. Here's why:


Connection comes more naturally to women than men. Open conversations with friends and family allow you to connect on a meaningful level and build deeper relationships. Since most men in our society learn to keep a stiff upper lip and only show certain emotions, most don't know how to open up and be vulnerable. You, as the woman, are better prepared to open up first and show vulnerability.

The more you open yourself to vulnerability, the more your man gets to know and love the real you. By being vulnerable, you help him open up and express his true thoughts and feelings. When you are vulnerable, you'll experience the deep and meaningful relationship you desire.

What to do if you want to find a fulfilling relationship?

A masculine man is not looking for a relationship with a woman who is a better man than him. He wants love with a woman who is confident, intelligent, and knows how and when to tap into her femininity.


If you want a fulfilling relationship with a masculine man, you will have to show up as a woman. Showing up as a woman is more than skin deep; it's more than dressing and smelling like one. It's about connecting with your inner feminine. When you connect with your inner feminine, your energy is brighter, lighter and irresistible to men.

Here are some ways to connect with your femininity:

  • Respond more and initiate less.
  • Receive, instead of giving too much.
  • Stay present and share your true thoughts and feelings.
  • Let things unfold and flow naturally, instead of trying to control things. 

In addition, lighten up by making peace with your past. Release pain and heartache from past connections and relationships. In doing so, you won't carry the energy of disappointment, frustration and skepticism on dates or into your next relationship.


If you'd like to find love in a way that brings out a man's desire to care for and protect you, learn how to connect with your inner feminine by watching the Woo Course video.