Love, Self

6 Habits Of Magnetic, Captivating Women That Always Seem To Attract Men

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You know those women who seem to have effortless relationships? And if they’re single, they don’t really seem to struggle with attracting anyone? Confidence just emanates from them and it just all seems to work?

I’ve noticed that there really is something to it. It turns out that irresistibility has a few common themes

Here are my (very non-scientific) observations on people who seem to have that effortless kind of magnetic ability to attract people:

1. They have a positive outlook on life.

Positivity is a choice that desirable people make daily. It might not always last, or it might be predicated with times of deep sorrow or depression, but on the whole, desirable people believe that good things happen to them.

2. They take responsibility for their own lives.

It’s easier to stay positive and happy with your life when you believe that things are your responsibility (for better or worse). Blame is so very unattractive since it sends negativity out into the world to be absorbed by others.

Desirable people just aren’t going around bitching and moaning about how things are going terrible. They’re ready for good things to happen, and if or when they don’t, they start working on making it right or moving on.

3. They WORK at staying happy.

This is not that gratingly annoying fake chirpiness where you’re convinced they’re really lying. It’s more like a mellow, content and enthusiastic perspective about life. The irresistible among us may occasionally throw a pity party, but they aren’t going to set up shop and dwell there long term.

4. They see the GOOD in everyone (especially themselves).

Relationships are much harder when you’re always looking over your shoulder, thinking about how someone MUST be trying to screw you over. Either that or“nothing this good could ever last.” Well with that mindset, guess what? It won’t!

Along the same lines, when things go wrong or they feel uncertain in their relationship, desirable people avoid automatically launching into blame mode. When given two potential reasons for their mate doing something they don’t like, they’re more likely to choose the milder potential reason. For example, choosing to believe, “he just forgot the milk” instead of, “he didn’t bring me milk on purpose. Because he’s terrible.”

5. Growth and personal goals are SUPER important to them.

At my wedding, my father passed along a cherished piece of relationship advice, and that was that he and my mother always make sure to pursue their goals, both individually and together when it makes sense. He explained that without something new to talk about, things get painfully stale. I’ve never forgotten it, and neither has my husband.

Sometimes people worry that they have to sacrifice their dreams for their relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth. You must find a relationship that works WITH your dreams for your life, and a mate who is supportive of you.Passion (for something other than your mate) helps your relationship expand. It keeps you from getting bored with your life and becoming boring.

6. They take care of themselves FOR themselves.

I realize if you’ve been slacking in the body maintenance department, it sucks to hear that if you get in shape and eat right, you’re more desirable. But while not politically correct, it is true. It’s ironic that we see airbrushed bodies all day long and have such an appearance-oriented culture, but when we talk about love, we are supposed to pretend that during “real love,” looks don’t matter.

I’m sorry, that’s wrong. That doesn’t mean you, me or ANYONE has to be perfect— not at all, but we DO have to work on the physical to keep it all humming along.

And desirable people make the effort to do the best they can with what they’ve got— that’s just one of the reasons they are desirable.

Elizabeth Stone is a dating coach. If men become distant and are pulling away, you can get a free copy of Elizabeth's book Why Men Lose Interest. In the book she explains what you can do to make this stop immediately.

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This article was originally published at Digital Romance Inc. Reprinted with permission from the author.