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She turns heads instantly.
By James Michael Sama — Written on Jan 13, 2023
Airbrushed models everywhere you turn. Magazines. Social media. Billboards. We are living in an increasingly visual society pushing the image of what’s “sexy” to us.
Many of you may be watching this expecting to see a list consisting of amazing legs, a great smile, chiseled abs, and a tan. But what society tells you is sexy on the surface is often a small piece of the whole puzzle, if it’s a piece of it at all.
We need to get rid of the damaging perception that only women who look like airbrushed magazine advertisements are sexy. There is so much more to it than that.
So, for those of us who live in the real world, what makes a woman sexy?
There is nothing wrong with putting a value on your appearance and that of your partner — we all do it. Physical attraction is the fundamental starting point of essentially any relationship, but if that is the only glue bonding the two of you together, it will quickly weaken and break apart. The flame may burn strongly, but briefly.
You don’t have to win the lottery in the gene pool to be sexy. We may not be able to decide the cards that are dealt to us, but we can decide how we play our hand.
Here are seven traits attractive women have that make men want more than just sex.
1. They're confident.
Being confident is key. Being perfect is not. A strong purposeful walk, your head held high, eye contact, and a wide welcoming smile goes a long way.
Confidence breeds more than just a strong presence or attraction. It’s the foundation for a strong life. Success is rooted in your self-confidence and is the ability to go after what you want — a very sexy thing to do.
2. They have ambition.
Ambition signifies a purpose, a drive, and a direction in life. Ambition is sexy for a driven man because he has his own goals and sees you as a teammate to take on the world with.
If you’re with a man who doesn’t appreciate your drive, keep looking. A real man will never be intimidated by your ambition.
3. They exude passion.
It is extremely sexy when a woman exudes passion. Passion for her life, friends, hobby, her work. To see a woman in her element and truly loving what she’s doing exudes sexiness and is irresistible.
4. They treat others with kindness.
Treating others with kindness is a disappointingly rare quality in modern society. That makes it even sexier when a woman shows compassion to another. It shows heart and a level of depth that could never be made up for by a solely beautiful exterior.
5. They're honest.
How long would you stay in a relationship with a beautiful/handsome liar? If you can’t trust your partner, or believe what they say, how can you construct a lasting foundation with them? You can’t.
Not to mention, lying is a major turn-off. An honest woman has enough self-respect to be upfront with you as well as herself. She exudes sexiness through her frankness, integrity, and loyalty.
6. They're classy.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: class has nothing to do with the price tag on your outfit. Class is about the dignity with which you carry yourself, and the level of respect you give to the people around you.
It doesn’t matter what kind of car you drive, what part of town you live in, or what brand of clothing you wear; if you are considerate of others and regard their feelings, your sexiness will radiate. On the other hand, if you have an ugly attitude and embarrass others in public it’s an automatic turn-off.
7. They're intelligent.
There is no denying that someone’s looks are what initially draws us to them, but it’s difficult to spot a great personality from across the room. Many a fling was built on physical attraction alone, but how long can it last?
When conversations lack depth or intrigue we often fill our time with physical activity together. But it’s impossible to build a real connection or a lasting relationship with someone on attraction alone.
Being intellectually challenging and having the ability to hold real discussions will always trump shallow beauty in the long run.
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James Michael Sama is a relationship expert who writes about dating and relationships. He speaks on the topics of chivalry, romance, and happiness, and has been featured in news segments, talk shows, and mainstream radio.
This article was originally published at James M Sama. Reprinted with permission from the author.