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We get it. Dating SUCKS.
By Elizabeth Stone — Written on Jan 22, 2016
Dating can feel like an endless grind where you feel like you're constantly beating your head up against the wall trying to meet someone great. The never-ending cycle of landing a date, going out and having fun and then feeling distraught when he never calls is ego-crushing.
So how do you continue putting yourself out there without getting discouraged?
Try these 4 dating tips that will help you successfully date, even when you want to give up and start a cat collection:
1. Don't treat dating like it's your job.
It’s easy to get burned out when you focus on something too much. When you’re seeing too many people, you start to treat each date like a job interview. And let's be real: job interviews are NOT sexy.
Limit dates to once or twice a week. The rest of the time, do things you enjoy and hang out with friends — regularly.
If you maintain your other interests, you won’t lose touch with the parts of you that make you feel good about yourself. Also, passion is an aphrodisiac. Staying busy will give you something to talk about that lights you up when you are out on a date.
2. Make the dates enjoyable to BOTH of you.
The most memorable, enjoyable dates I’ve been on were the ones that were meant to be fun. Go-carts, mini golf, real golf, pool, painting mugs, driving fast cars, goofing off, silly fun stuff. Fun activities are a complete breath of fresh air when you compare them to making awkward conversation over risotto. It’s okay to save the more romantic stuff for later when you have an actual romance happening.
When you’ve been striking out with people, it’s easy to stop being happy and playful since it’s grinding to put yourself out there again and again. When you stop having fun, it shows both in your enthusiasm and your attitude toward your dates.
A sure sign of dating burnout is when you’re cringing about going on a date. Men, schedule dates that are fun. Women, mention that you’d like to do something fun.
3. Learn to be thankful for every rejection.
The truth is that dating can be brutal. Letting yourself be interested in someone new over and over again while getting your feelings hurt can feel like you’re walking on broken glass after a while.
This is why changing your attitude about rejection can change your whole life. Each and every time you start to feel that a new person is blowing you off or that sinking feeling when they want to have “the talk”, be thankful.
Be thankful that they’re gone. Be thankful that someone wrong for you has done you the favor of leaving the building. Be thankful that your fabulous self isn’t being contaminated anymore by the hope that something with them would work.
Sure it can sting hearing that you aren’t their cup of tea. But the truth is that if you’re not their cup of tea, they’re definitely not for you. Be unapologetic about cutting them out of your life. Move on!
4. Take a break from the dating pool.
Sometimes it’s necessary to stop dating altogether for a few months to recollect and think about your recent experiences.
Are you attracting the wrong people? Are you feeling crappy while you’re doing it? Has your gorgeous wide-eyed hope been replaced with jaded lists of requirements for your love? Time to take a break to re-calibrate and get over some of the dating disappointments you’ve had lately.
More for You:
Have you struggled with having guys pull away from you? Find out how Why Men Lose Interest with a free copy of her book and daily email series here.
This article was originally published at Digital Romance Inc. Reprinted with permission from the author.