6 Reasons Why Feeling Unlucky In Love Keeps You Single

Believing you're unlucky in love creates your reality and keeps you single.

By Elizabeth Hunter Diamond — Written on Sep 15, 2020

Photo: getty

Are you convinced that you’re unlucky in love? Do you feel doomed to be single forever?

There are probably times where you've felt like your love life is a complete failure, no matter how hard you try. You observe your friends and acquaintances happily coupling up, getting married, or going on romantic vacations together.

And you're left wondering if something is missing — if maybe you didn’t get that particular love gene or whatever it takes to be happy in love.

You might be tempted to believe it’s just your fate to be unlucky in love and that you'll be alone forever.

But before you give up on love, consider a different perspective on what feeling unlucky in love is all about and how it keeps you single.

Here are 6 reasons why the belief that you’re unlucky in love is keeping you single more than anything else.

1. You see yourself as a victim of life and circumstances.

When you believe that your love life is dependent on something as arbitrary as luck (or the lack thereof), you’re telling yourself that you have no power to create the experience you want.

You see yourself as a victim to outside forces, events, and circumstances. You believe that your efforts to go after what you want will fall short, because you think that the forces of luck or fate are too great for you to surmount.

When you see yourself as a victim, you avoid taking responsibility for your experience. You miss the opportunity to explore yourself at a deep level and discover how and why you may be blocking yourself from receiving the love you most desire.

If you perceive yourself as a victim of fate and misfortune, then you’ll likely continue to create the same experiences of disappointment and isolation over and over again. And, you’ll miss the opportunity for self-understanding and growth these experiences offer.

2. You create your experience inside-out, not outside-in.

Whatever you're holding in your inner landscape — your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings — serves as the filter through which you manifest your world experience.

The more you believe you’re unlucky in love, the more you’ll experience yourself as unlucky in love. On the flip-side, the more you think that love comes to you with ease, the more love you’ll invite in your life.

The universe is generous in this way. It says "yes" to whatever you choose to believe.

I’m not talking about greeting-card affirmations. I’m talking about the beliefs you hold deep within you that shape how you perceive and experience yourself and the world around you.

This is incredibly good news, because it means that you have much more power to influence the course of your love life than you might have thought.

Your beliefs are not set in stone. You can change them and, therefore, change what you experience.

But if you believe that you're unlucky in love and doomed to be single forever, then that’s likely what you’ll create.

3. You look everywhere for evidence that validates your lack of luck.

When you believe you’re unlucky in love, you walk through life looking for evidence that validates that narrative. And the more you validate that narrative, the more you experience it.

You’re so busy building, supporting, and sustaining a narrative that says you’re unlucky in love, that you miss all of the other evidence to the contrary.

As author Wayne Dyer put it, "If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t, you will see obstacles."

Whatever you put your attention on will grow stronger in your life. So, if you believe you’re unlucky in love and doomed to be single, then you’re reinforcing that potentiality.

4. You push potential partners away.

As you’re looking for evidence to validate a narrative of being unlucky in love, you miss it when good fortune comes your way. You’re so convinced of being unlucky that you can’t trust a good thing when you see it.

For example, you might dismiss the attention of someone who is genuinely good for you and interested in you. You might be overly critical, jaded, or look for flaws, because you can’t accept that it might work out.

You can’t imagine anything good happening, because you’re convinced you’re unlucky in love.

When you push potential suitors away, you get to validate the story that you are unlucky in love.

5. When you believe you’re unlucky in love, you act out of desperation.

Instead of pushing potential suitors away, you may act out of desperation. You start dating someone who doesn’t treat you well or can’t sustain a healthy relationship.

But because you believe you’re unlucky in love, you think you have to settle for less than what's good and right for you.

Your fear of being alone may keep you in a dysfunctional relationship. You may override your own needs, not believing they can be met.

Perhaps, you ignore reg flags out of fear of losing the connection you do have, even if it’s sub-optimal. You might be needy and seeking validation from the other person, instead of genuinely connecting with them.

When this happens, the relationship becomes unsustainable. And when it doesn’t work out, you get to validate your belief that you're unlucky in love.

6. You act out of defeat.

Your response to your inner belief that you’re unlucky in love might be complete defeat. You’ve decided it’s not worth the effort, so you don’t even try.

You might even pretend not to care at all when you do. Perhaps, you decide to hook up, but don’t allow yourself to think about real love and connection.