Forget Soulmates! THIS Is An Even Better Type Of Love To Find


When I think of the word soulmate, I tend to think about the association it has with romantic relationships and the idea that there is one true love that exists for all of us.

I’d like to talk about what soulmates really are, are not ... and the one kind of ideal relationship that transcends even a soulmate relationship.

First, I think it's important to answer a few basic questions about soulmates. This will help clear up many myths and misconceptions and provide clarity for further discussion. Some common questions that come to mind are:

1. What, exactly, is a soulmate?

Simply put, a soulmate is someone who comes into your life for the "soul" purpose of mutual growth and learning. Despite popular belief, a soulmate can come in more than one form (such as a friend, family member or co-worker). Almost anyone who comes into your life is a soulmate if the relationship dynamic provides some level of personal growth and evolution.

Soulmates are not exclusively romantic in nature (that includes your pets, too!).

2. Are all married couples soulmates?

Yes! This also goes for anyone who is in an intimate relationship. I can say with absolute certainty that intimate relationships, in any form, will most definitely provide an ongoing opportunity for growth and learning.

3. Is there a difference between someone I just love, someone I marry, and the "love of my life"?

These types of relationships typically involve a soulmate dynamic. Whether I just love someone, marry someone, or consider someone the "love of my life", I will certainly grow and learn from all of those experiences.

The thing that differentiates one from the other is the level of intimacy in the relationship. Every relationship is unique and every relationship is an opportunity for personal growth and learning.

4. What is a soulmate NOT?

  • Soulmates are NOT just one person who shows up in your life without any conflict, challenges, or issues. Soulmates tend to show up and challenge you in all of these ways for your own growth and learning.
  • Soulmates are NOT a person who "completes" you and makes you whole. All of the growth you experience in life helps get you to a place of wholeness and completeness on your own.

    Only once you learn that you are complete in yourself, can you ever attract another person or relationship that reflects your wholeness back to you completely.

  • Soulmates are NOT exactly like you. They might have enormous similarities or the dynamic could be that of opposites as well. However, as long as you are here on this planet, you are subject to your own unique human experiences which make up your own, beautiful, authentic, individual expression.

Now that I've explained what a soulmate is and is not, I will share with you another perspective on relationships. I do believe that there is a harmonious high- vibrational soul match that happens once a certain level of growth occurs in life.

That level of growth has these key elements:

  • You live as authentically as possible and your constant expression and vibration is that of your true authentic self.
  • You recognize that everyone is a mirror of you and you are a mirror for others.
  • You forgo judgment of yourself and others and practice non-judgment.
  • You've learned, practice, and exemplify self-love.

When you operate at these higher vibrational frequencies of existence, the Law of Attraction shows up in your life with great clarity. You attract that which you are, someone who is a vibrational match to your true authentic self, and who also holds the attributes noted above.

When this soul vibrational match happens, it transcends the typical soulmate relationship, the typical “love of my life” feeling, and culminates in what I can only explain as a divine connection unlike any other. It really has no name and needs no name.

When it happens, you know it and no name or term seems to define it. I found mine and I wish the same for you.

You can read about Dr. Joshua Kai’s deeply personal experience in finding his own soul vibrational match in his new book “The Quantum Prayer: An Inspiring Guide to Love, Healing, and Creating the Best Life Possible” now available on

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