Photo: getty
It's a conversation you need to have.
By D. Begg — Written on Mar 22, 2018
For most couples, sex plays a vital part in the overall health of the relationship. Even though sex is important, there are many issues that may cause problems with the sex life of a couple.
Sexual problems in women and men are more common than many people realize and it is not only sexual dysfunctions that can have a significant impact on both the man and the woman’s abilities in the bedroom. In this post, we want to focus on men, specifically.
Men are often under the impression that they thoroughly satisfy their partner in the bedroom, primarily due to the fact that they experience a significant level of pleasure. Unfortunately, this is not always true.
If you find that your girlfriend is secretly masturbating after you have pleased her in the bedroom, then you might not be as good in sex as you thought you were.
What is the "Orgasm Gap" and what does it mean for your sex life?
The "Orgasm Gap" is a term used to define the gap, or difference, in statistics related to male and female orgasms. It is generally known that men have more orgasms than women.
Numerous studies and surveys have been conducted to provide more accurate data on the "orgasm gap", but the results are often mixed. One shared fact, however, is that, in all studies, men are always the ones to report more orgasms than women.
Psychology Today notes two recent studies:
- One study surveyed a total of 800 students in college. They found that 91 percent of men experienced an orgasm when participating in sexual activities with a partner, while only 39 percent of women reported experiencing an orgasm during sexual activities.
- Another survey interviewed 15,000 students, also in college. This study found that men experience an orgasm in at least 85 percent of the sexual activities they participate in with a partner, while the women’s statistics were lower, at 63 percent.
Why is your girlfriend secretly masturbating after sex?
With the statistics revealed about the "orgasm gap", a lot of men tend to think that it is quite normal for their girlfriend not to have an orgasm during sex. There are also quite a lot of debate surrounding the topic about why some women may masturbate after sexual intercourse.
One post by The Guardian went viral after they answered a question asked by one of their readers — the post suggested that it is quite normal for a woman to masturbate following sexual intercourse.
The post suggested that some women want to experience a second orgasm after the first one. Soon after this answer was posted by one of the contributors on The Guardian, a lot of debate sparked up on social media surrounding the topic.
Facing the truth might be a little harsh, but if your girlfriend is masturbating after sex, then there is a very good chance that it is not because she simply wants to have another orgasm. There is a much better chance that you actually failed to provide her with an adequate level of pleasure and satisfaction for her to have an orgasm.
Up to 30 percent of women find it difficult to have an orgasm at all and up to 80 percent of women are unable to have an orgasm through sexual intercourse alone — they often require additional sexual stimulation in order to achieve that point of extreme pleasure and sexual satisfaction.
A study by RTI International found that as much as 26.7 percent of women who have not yet gone through menopause have a low sex drive and this statistic goes up to 52.4 percent when they looked at postmenopausal women.
So, how do you give her an orgasm?
Realizing the fact that your girlfriend isn't masturbating post-sex for a second orgasm is the first step to solving this issue in your relationship. You also need to take into account that clitoral stimulation is needed for most women to actually have an orgasm. When this information is taken into account, you can better equip yourself with the skills needed to give her an orgasm.
Men’s Health explains that foreplay is one of the most vital parts of ensuring your girlfriend is able to have an orgasm during sex. There are many ways to turn her on through foreplay — don’t limit your foreplay to your bedroom.
Start texting her earlier in the day, when you get home, start kissing her in her neck, whisper in her ear, and touch her. When you get to the bedroom, spend some time on more foreplay before you have intercourse.
Recent debate has gotten some men to think that a girlfriend masturbating after sex is due to their excellent abilities in the bedroom, when, in reality, it is often due to an unsatisfied girlfriend.
Spending more time on getting to know what your girlfriend wants in bed and focusing on foreplay can be a great way to help get her in the mood and to make sure that she, too, can have an orgasm during sexual intercourse.
Donna Begg is an expert editor, a mentor, analyst, and a researcher.