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How to cross the line and bring your friendship to the next level.
By Devon Brown — Last updated on Dec 03, 2023
Lately, I have gotten a few questions from readers on how to tell if a guy likes you. Learning how to tell if a guy likes you often depends on the situation. Although I’ve written articles before explaining general ways to tell if a guy is interested, that advice doesn’t always apply to every situation.
I wanted to take a minute to address some situations that you may encounter.
You’ve known this guy for a while. You two have become close, and you both flirt with each other regularly. Perhaps you’ve even gone out socially or he has said things indicating an interest in a relationship but in a casual way.
However, you have been in limbo here for a while. You want a full-blown relationship, but so far it has been nothing more than friendship, flirting, and the occasional social outing or thoughtful gift. You aren’t sure if you are moving towards dating or just close friends.
There are many reasons you may be stuck in this limbo. He may want a relationship, but he thinks you are happy with the way things are or that you only see him as a close friend. He may be afraid of being rejected by you.
It is also possible that he is not interested in a relationship and he does see you as just a friend he enjoys flirting with. In this situation, you have two options. Your first option is to let things stay at status quo for now but make yourself available to others. Remain close friends with this guy, but if someone shows interest in you or asks you out, go for it. Don’t put your whole life on hold for the possibility of a relationship.
Your second option is to talk to him. Tell him you want to go out on a real date. Sometimes this is when women jump right to “I want a “real” or committed relationship.” Instead of trying to tie him to a fence post, just ask him out. After a couple of dates, you may decide he was much better as a friend.
The downside to this option is that he may say no, and you need to accept that. If a guy flat-out tells you he is not interested, I do not recommend tying up your time and life trying to convince him otherwise. You are worth more than that.
Now, let me take a minute to tell you what you should NOT do in this situation: You should not play games!
You should not do things to see if you can make him jealous, you should not make up situations where you need him to “save” you, and you should not start avoiding him to see if he pursues you. These are childish, unneeded, and often ineffective.
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Devon Brown is a dating and relationship coach who has been featured in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, World Internet Summit, Mastermind, and more.