8 Easy Ways To Become More Confident (And Men LOVE Confidence)

Let. Go. Of. Perfection.

woman smiling Ground Picture / Shutterstock

When I started preparing to launch my coaching program "Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar", I talked to both men and women about what they believe makes a person sexy.  

And the number one answer is this: confidence.

I can't wave a magic wand and gift you with confidence, but you want to know how to be sexier, follow these 8 tips to boost your confidence and feel as sexy as ever:

1. Let go of perfection.



I understand that you want things to be right in your life, but trying to be perfect is actually paralyzing.

Perfectionism sets you up for living in fear of never measuring up or being good enough. Confidence isn't developed in a state of perfection. 


In fact, perfectionism is the antithesis of confidence. So, quiet your inner critic and let go of the need to be perfect.

2. Take action.

Confidence comes through experience, and experience comes through action. The most confident people I know are, ironically, the ones who are willing to look stupid, insane, crazy, and idiotic in order to reach their goals. 

Over and over, they attempt, fail, course correct and continue to learn and grow through life’s experiences.

3. Dress how you feel.


Dressing how you want to feel is a great way to play with physical reality to build your inner confidence. 


So, define how you want to feel, imagine how that feeling looks, and dress with the intention of embodying your feeling.

4. Watch your posture.

Stand up like you mean it. Stand up like you have something to say to the world.   

So, practice good posture to start building your confidence level. That’s right, back straight, shoulders back and boobs out!

5. Make decisions.


We often underestimate the power of decision. Often times, we don’t make decisions because we don’t trust ourselves. 


It’s OK to start small, like choosing a restaurant or a beautiful pair of shoes. Then make bigger decisions: pick a vacation spot or a piece of art or a new suit. 

With each decision, you become more and more confident versus waiting for someone to make the decisions for you and letting your confidence wither away.

6. Try role-playing.

I’m not telling you to not be yourself, I’m simply suggesting you try to wear another person’s shoes for a few moments. 

Deep inside of you is this confident sexy person — you may just need to try it on for size before you wear it full time.

7. Celebrate even your smallest victories.


Dig around in your memory and think about things you are so proud of accomplishing. They can be small or big, affect only you or other people too. 


Make a list and as you write each accomplishment down, give yourself a pat on the back and acknowledge all that you’ve done. This is a great step towards building your inner confidence!

8. Show your pearly whites.

A smile is one of those totally controllable actions that you can take into your outer world that will make your inner world soar. Try it. 


Walk into a room and just smile. Notice what happens. Suddenly, good mojo begins to flow towards you. You start to relax. Things stop being so damn serious. And you discover that your confidence is greater.

Feeling confident and sexy is about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s that simple. 

What about you? What tricks do you have to make you feel more confident? What tips did you like the best to make your confidence soar?

To learn more, visit Debra's website. You can also connect with her on  Facebook or Twitter.