Don't Let Technology Cripple Your Intimacy — Touch Your Partner More Than Your Phone
Improve your connection with your partner, enhance intimacy, and rekindle.
getty Are you feeling disconnected in your relationship? Do you touch your partner or spouse, and not just in a sexual manner? Or do you spend more time looking at screens than their face?
As the use of technology rises in our world, the lack of touch between loved ones is becoming an increasing problem.
Even couples or other people who are in close proximity to each other can want more of a connection with their spouse or family — and that connection can be achieved in many different ways.
There's now even evidence in neuroscience that people love their phones as much as they love their partners, if not more.
If you want to improve the love and connection as a couple or with others in your life, here 3 intimate ways to touch your partner.
1. Touch your partner before any technology every day.
Many couples talk about needing to find more time to connect with each other. Yet, they spend prime minutes — or longer — every morning engaged with technology before even saying "good morning" to each other.
Connecting with your partner every morning is an important way to enhance intimacy and connection.
It also helps balance your nervous system as using technology within the first hour of waking can cause emotional stress through the rest of your day.
2. Focus on your partner when you're talking.
Have you ever had a conversation with someone while they were checking their social media? Did it make you feel unimportant? Dismissed?
At the very least, not fully listening to someone can lead to misinterpreting what was said. Trying to multi-task also harms the brain's ability to focus, in general.
When you're speaking to anyone, focusing on the person in order to create a strong connection also improves the chances that both people feel accurately heard.
3. Learn how to speak their love language and identify your own.
There are many ways to express love. If you were ever told by a partner that they did not feel loved by you, it might not have been due to a lack of trying.
You might have been speaking different languages.
Researchers have identified the "Five Love Languages" — physical touch, quality time, gift-giving and receiving, words of affirmation, and acts of service.
And most partners do not "speak" the same love language. This means that if you like hearing "I love you" (words of affirmation), you might generally communicate love verbally to your partner.
However, if they prefer sitting on the deck and talking about life (quality time), then you're not speaking their language and they will not feel as loved.
Don't let technology ruin your human connections.
Technology has crept into our lives over the past few decades to become a pillar of home and work life.
If we can see these machines as tools and use them accordingly, then we can focus our attention and love on the people that truly matter in our lives.
If you want to build a stronger connection with your partner, you can also consider a couple’s retreat for your marriage or relationship.
Dr. David Helfand is the Owner & Founder of LifeWise, LLC as well as a Relaxation and Relationship Psychologist. For more information on his services, visit his website.