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You already have what it takes. You just need to use what you’ve got.
By Celine Remy — Written on Apr 06, 2018
Every man I talk to tells me he wants to be better in bed. It’s a noble intention. However, when it comes to sex, there’s often a difference between what men think is great sex and what women really think about that experience.
We live in a society where bigger, better, and faster are continuously sought after. We also tend to think that something outside of ourselves will bring us happiness or solve our problems.
But when it comes to sex, it couldn't be further from the truth. Our pre-conceived notions and, sometimes, even our best intentions coupled with poor knowledge tend to be in the way.
Let’s look at what it means to be a better lover physically, mentally, and emotionally. Because sex is much more than just physical and if you can, learn how to be better in bed and expand your skills in all areas:
1. Let go of any expectations and goals.
I know it might sound counterintuitive. After all, isn't giving her an orgasm a sign that you are great in bed? And really, if there wasn't any ejaculation, what was the point?
These are the kind of ideas that keep you in the mediocre range. When sex has to be or look a certain way, it traps you and you can’t step into your mastery.
Sadly, this rush to the finish line is the most prevalent model when people think about sex. Everything points to the orgasm as a goal and that concept is denying us all the chance to deeply connect both physically and emotionally, which is the most valuable gift of sexual connection.
Drop the goal of reaching orgasms and enjoy the journey.
When you are having sex for the pleasure and connection it brings you both, rather than for a destination to reach, you can simply enjoy each moment and not only the "end game" of the orgasm. The healing comes from your ability to spend more time in the pleasure zone.
Anytime we make love, we have an opportunity to touch and ignite new places within. So really what that means is that we can use our lovemaking to feel more alive.
It is the prolonged pleasure, not a brief explosion and fireworks that make the journey juicy.
2. Great sex is not about fancy moves.
As a matter of fact, sometimes they can be a distraction. What truly matters is the depth of the sexual encounter. What women crave and want is your presence. Presence means being here, now. Presence is about noticing the little things.
You can’t fake being present — it requires discipline and focus. Being present with her is the greatest gift you can give her. Your woman needs to feel that she is the most important thing in the entire world. You must quiet your mind in order to feel what is happening in the moment.
When a woman feels held by your strong presence, she can relax and open. That surrender is the key to her pleasure. When your woman is happy, she is radiant and filled with life force energy that permeates through her skin. By touching her you are recharging your battery.
Pleasure is her battery and your woman is yours. Aim for connection, not perfection. Be a fool and fail freely. Sharing a good laugh will bring forth closeness.
When you have no expectations, and she is not feeling any pressure for anything but simply having fun and connecting, she will enjoy herself more. And she will feel more deeply fulfilled, connected, and satisfied.
3. Dial up the sexual polarity in your relationship.
The polarity is the force of attraction between the masculine and feminine energy. It’s like a magnetic current that runs between two beings and makes sex super potent.
Your gender doesn't dictate whether you should be "masculine" or "feminine". Everybody has both masculine and feminine energy and we tend to have one that feels more natural and easy.
When she is being feminine it attracts you sexually. When you are being masculine and take charge it attracts her.
Give her the kind of sex she needs and craves. When she wants your strength, give it to her. It will nourish her receptive quality. When she needs your soft side, be there for her it will deepen your bond.
This will keep the passion in your relationship alive.
No pills, no potions, and no gimmicks. Penetrate her with your heart, mind, body, and soul.
Céline Remy is a holistic sexologist and the co-creator of Power and Mastery, the most complete sexual stamina training for men. She helps men become heroes in the bedroom. Start today by downloading your free guide "How To Pleasure A Woman From Head To Toe."