If you can't move on no matter how hard you try, you might have PRSD. Don't give up! Here's help.
By Catherine Behan — Written on Feb 03, 2012
Do you obsess over his life and spend no time living your own?
You could be suffering from Post Romantic Stress Disorder (P.R.S.D.)
If you struggle to move on, even though you know there is no way you would ever go back to him, there is a way out. But first, here are some signs that P.R.S.D. is running the show in your mind and heart.
1. Keeping his number in your cell phone, “just in case.”
2. Bootie calls of any size, shape or form.
3. Blaming yourself for not being good enough for him.
4. Continually asking the pointless question, “What did I do wrong?”
5. Difficulty focusing on work or school.
6. Addictions are kicking up. Are you eating the wrong stuff? Too much shopping?
7. Refusing to date, be introduced to new romantic prospects or identifying yourself as single.
8. Secretly wish that it isn’t really over and fantasize about re-uniting.
9. Being unaware of how much time has gone by since your breakup. Exactly how long has it been?
10. Holding on to gifts and romantic items from your past relationship.
What if I told you that there was a logical reason that you are feeling the way you are?
Plus...what if I told you that your brain is actually keeping you in a holding pattern of pain?
What? Yes…it is true. Breaking up opens the flood gates of brain chemicals designed to protect you and these chemicals control your emotional well-being. Curious?
Ever heard of Fight or Flight?
The biological urge to run for your life or fight the fearsome foe is so deeply ingrained in your genetics that you need to outsmart your own brain to get over lost love.
How To Outsmart Your Brain and Let Go Of Your Ex For Good.
Is there really a Post Romantic Stress Disorder? It may not be an official title but after speaking to hundreds and hundreds of women in the throes of horrific heartbreak, I see a definite pattern. If you are ready to take action, here are three scientfically proven steps to disconnect you from your ex for good.
1. Be Brutally Honest With Yourself: Exactly how long has it been since the breakup? Say it out loud. “It has been _____________since I broke up.” Good. Many times simply acknowledging the truth of time passing will shock you into the reality of how unwilling you have been to move on.
2. Write a letter: No, you are not going to write a letter to your ex, you have wasted enough of your valuable time and energy on that part of your PAST. This letter is from you to you. Give yourself permission to move on.
Think about hobbies and interests that you enjoyed 10 or more years ago. What is missing? Acknowledge that you have spent so much energy on this phantom romance that you have abandoned other parts of your life that need attention. Apologize to yourself and commit to change.
3. Get Physical: In my book, The Breakup Cleanse, I teach precise skills that will reprogram your brain to get over that lost love and move on. For now, here are some quick tips to convince your brain to stop pumping those painful stressful brain chemicals.
Aromatherapy: Turns out this isn’t so woo woo after all. The sense of smell is a powerful part of your breakup recovery plan. The parts of your brain that light up when using your nose allow for pleasure chemicals to be released. Candles, fresh flowers or essential oils will cause your brain to release soothing brain chemicals.
Music: In the same way as smell, hearing is profoundly effective in distracting the brain and turning of the fight or flight chemicals. Music triggers dancing and movement always detoxes the body. Meditation CDS or Nature Sounds flood the body with feel good endorphins.
Clean House: Go around your home, car and office to collect all of the gits, cards, jewelry, pictures and other memories of your ex. Put them in a box and remove them from your home. If you can’t bring yourself to throw the stuff out, the action of taking them out of your house is good enough.
Now hit your computer. Collect all pictures, old emails, texts and create a file to keep all of them together. Again, if you are not ready to hit delete yet, that is ok. Just “packing up” creates the space in your outer world that will bring healing to your inner world.
Your brain is a magnificent organ and designed to provide you with what you need to survive. Emotional trauma locks you into a fearful pattern of love and loss until you can recondition your reactions once and for all.
P.R.S.D. is real. Your key to successfully wiggling free from your past is to be willing. Willing to change. Willing to forgive. Willing to address your own inner reactions. Willing to love and care for yourself.
Freedom is the end game. You can do it! Your family and friends are wishing for you to get over your ex, move on and find love. What are you waiting for?
Need more strategy, tips and tools? The Breakup Cleanse is a 28 day action plan with step by step guidance for putting P.R.S.D. behind you once and for all.