50 Flirty Cues To Connect With Him In No Time—YOU'RE WELCOME


I recently had three dates with a perfectly nice and flirty younger man. I enjoyed his company and was enjoying getting to know him. I mean, I went out with him three times after all. Obviously I was into him enough to keep saying yes.

The truth is, I didn’t feel enough physical chemistry to sleep with him after three dates. After no more than a warm hug and a kiss at the end of the third date, he "ghosted", disappeared from the radar. This is not the first time this has happened.

Women want to feel safe and comfortable before they get intimate

What is happening? If men are wanting sex while dating, and there are women out there who would LOVE to have sex while dating, why aren’t they connecting? How can you get a guy to stick around long enough to make a deep enough connection to get to mutually fabulous sex?

Dating in my 60s is pushing me out of my comfort zone. I am interested in including sex in my dating life but I know myself well enough to make careful decisions. I want to feel safe and comfortable before I get intimate with a new man. I need time to feel him out, so to speak, and see who he is. But, I also don’t want him to feel like he is being grilled under a stark white bulb as I pepper him with questions ...

I discovered a flirty little game quite accidentally while on a recent date. I mentioned the name of two music groups and asked him to choose. Rolling Stones or the Beatles. "The Stones for sure!!" He said. This led to a good conversation about the music we did and didn’t have in common. I like this guy but I am not feeling a lot of chemistry ... yet. I may need 6 dates instead of 3 to feel safe and comfortable around him before I want to get intimate.

Try an easy, light hearted and fun way to get to know someone

Next time we got together, I tried it again. He really enjoyed my rapid fire word pairs. He laughed and looked relaxed while considering his answers.  Occasionally we would stop and talk about something triggered by the words. Most of the time, we just play the game. It is an easy, light hearted and fun way to get to know someone. It is interesting when a pair comes up where he has to think a bit before responding. Gives a girl time to think of a follow up question about his choice.

Now, if you do this on Date #2 and Date #3, I can’t promise you men wanting sex while dating will stick around for longer than that magical 3 date limit. What I can promise is this—if you are fascinating to him, different than the countless other girls that he has dated, you will get his attention.  

During the date watch for an opportunity to start the game naturally. All he has to do is pick an option. You might be at a coffee shop and you could easily say, iced coffee or hot? And then as you wait for your beverage toss out another. He may just follow along. Or you can say, "I'm testing a theory on making first dates less awkward, want to be a test bunny?"  

Here are 50 flirty cues for you to use on your next first date.  (I even included a few naughty ones at the end, in case the date goes really well!) Go.

Hamburger or Hot Dog

Pepsi or Coke

Desert or Forest

Atlantic or Pacific

Starbucks or Independent

Mustard or Ketchup

Baked Potato or Mashed Potatoes

Dill or Sweet Pickles

Movies or Theater

Library or Bookstore

Wine or Beer

Google or Yahoo

Cats or Dogs

Apple or Banana

Bottle or Tap

Ping Pong or Pool

Zoo or Circus

Slam or Lob

Beach or Mountains

Books or Magazines

Fine Dining or Dive Bar

Hiking or Biking

Apple or Android

Tablet or Laptop

Baseball or Football

Chinese or Italian

Tennis or Golf

Home Cooking or Eating Out

Red Wine or White

Rain or Snow

Steak or Salmon

Turtle or Frog

Swimming or Sailing

Horror Movie or Mystery

Cruise or Camping

A Little on the Naughty Side

Silk or Satin

Ocean or Jacuzzi

Boxers or Briefs

Hug or Kiss

Snuggle or Spoon

Shower or Bath

Back Seat or Deserted Alley

Dark Chocolate or Milk Chocolate

Undies or Commando

Naked or Nude

Stilettos or Flip Flops

Night In The Woods or Night On The Town

Nibbles or Bites

Text or Phone

Over or Under

Pajamas or Naked

Oh, one last note. This list is only a launch pad. Pay attention to your guy and think of some word pairs that ring true to his life. If you are lucky, he will play with you and give you a couple of word pairs to pick from. Have fun!

Catherine Behan is a Dating, Sex and Intimacy Coach practicing in San Diego, CA. For a free 20 minute chat to explore your dating style or lack thereof, click here.

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