The Real Reason Guys Suddenly Lose Interest After A Few (Good!) Dates

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Why Men Pull Away Or Suddenly Ghost You After A Few Good Dates
Love, Heartbreak

Why do men pull away or suddenly ghost you, just when you think things are looking promising?

It probably comes as no surprise to you that a man can be doing all the things that show he’s interested in you — from hanging out to getting physical — yet, he won’t communicate what he’s really feeling … until after he decides things “aren’t working" and either distances himself or ghosts you.

Frustrating, right?

RELATED: What To Do When The Guy You Like Pulls Away (Or Asks For 'Space')

You didn’t even get the chance to know what was going on inside his head or talk about it. How in the world did he think things were supposed to end up working? Were you supposed to read his mind?!

The problem is that women try to read too much into their early interactions with men.

This leads them to think that, after the first few dates, they’re in what I call an “instant relationship.” However, when a man asks you out for a second or third date, all it means is he’s interested in getting to know you better, because he felt a good connection with you on the first date.

That means women often think they’re in a relationship with a man (or in the midst of forming one!), while he’s still feeling things out and probably doesn’t have a “relationship” anywhere on his radar.

When a man asks you out for a second or third date, all it means is he’s interested in getting to know you better because he felt a good connection with you on date number one. It doesn’t mean that he necessarily wants to be “exclusive” or is thinking there is potential for a “serious relationship” to develop.

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He’s still just getting to know you in these early stages of dating. He’s enjoying your company, having fun, and starting to wonder about you.

RELATED: 5 Reasons Men Pull Away From Good Relationships

Meanwhile, you’re already thinking ahead to the next few months when this is the only man you’re seeing and things are “serious.” You’ve already made a decision about this guy, and you don’t even know him that well yet. All you’re doing is going by your “gut feeling” and the chemistry you feel when you’re with him.

So you start acting on that “feeling” and you begin to make certain assumptions about what’s going on between you.

This can send a really bad “vibe” to a guy, which can make him pull away, lose interest, or ghost you.

When you're in this mindset, you can cause a guy to pull away by assuming you’re going to be seeing each other every weekend, expressing your annoyance that he doesn’t call you more often, or getting furious when you discover he’s still dating other women because you assumed you were in a monogamous relationship, instead of actually discussing it.

This is when a guy will pull away, sometimes for good, or ghost you and leave you wondering what happened. See what I mean about the dangers of “instant relationship" thinking?

RELATED: What It Means If He's Giving You The Cold Shoulder — And How To Make Him Want You Again

Understanding attraction and how it works is absolutely critical if you want to create a connected, lasting relationship with a man. To learn more about the kind of woman a great guy is attracted to for the long term, subscribe to Christian’s free e-newsletter. He'll tell you what makes a guy want to commit to you, and what you can do to get him there without any convincing or game playing.

This article was originally published at Catch Him and Keep Him. Reprinted with permission from the author.