Read these 10 tell tale signs to tell if your marriage is heading in the wrong direction.
By Carmelia Ray — Written on May 09, 2012
1. Lack of communication - One of the biggest challenges most couples face is poor communication or lack of communication. If one or both partners in the relationship do not communicate their challenges and concerns, this is usually a sign that you're heading down the wrong path. Sometimes the communication is there but it's about "superficial" things and not really the root of the problem. How familiar does this sound "Hey honey are you O.K? Is there anything bothering you?" Answer: "NO, I'm O.K- it's nothing". If you've caught yourself in that situation or asking those questions, yet your gut tells you something different, this is a bad sign. 50% of our communication is non-verbal. If your partner is showing you through their actions, body language and gestures that something’s wrong, yet they refuse to talk about it; take that as a sign.
2. Forgetting important dates- Do you recall when you first started dating how important "dates" were to you. When you could recite the date and exact time you met and how many minutes or hours it was since your last conversation? Now fast forward to your 7th wedding anniversary or Mother's and Father's day and your spouse completely forgets? Although there are definite exceptions to this rule, when your other half forgets important "relationship" dates such as birthdays and anniversaries, it's a definite sign that their mind is elsewhere and not on you.
3. Very little intimacy - Well this is a no brainer. They say the average married couple has sex twice a week. For some they say they are lucky if they have sex once a month. If it’s been months since you’ve had sex, this is a very big indicator there are challenges. Intimacy is also about how you treat one another. If you lack basic affection and consideration for each other, you are heading towards divorce.
4. No time for one another – When you’re spouse loses interest in you, or you find that you just pass each other on the way out the door or sit down for quick meals at the dinner table, you are more like “room mates” and aquaintances. Many divorced couples share that prior to the separation they were doing a lot of things on their own.
5. Sleeping in different beds – It amazes me how many couples actually sleep in separate beds. The reasons are irrelevant in my opinion, but if you are regularly sleeping in separate beds you might as well be single.
6. Working a lot of extra hours – A partner that would rather stay at the office than come home to spend quality time with his partner is a sign. When working weekends and missing family events become a regular occurrence, you need to take that as a sign that something may be wrong.
7. Lots of alone time – Are you finding yourself alone a lot? Are you attending family functions by yourself? Are you always getting an excuse from your partner why they don’t want to come with you to your events or functions? Is your partner always “busy” with their own interests and spending time with his/her friends? Take this as a sign.
8. You feel like you're room mates – When is the last time you had those butterfly feelings?
9. You or your partner is always stressed – Stress is a negative emotion and actually causes physical and mental health challenges. Is your partner constantly irritated and having difficulty sleeping? Are they constantly tired and distracted and have a hard time concentrating? Are they irritable, forgetful and socially withdrawn? Stress can kill any relationship if not dealt with. Too much stress in the marriage will lead to the road of separation
10. You fight over stupid things – If you notice that you spend more time bickering than loving one another, this is a sign. If you’re easily annoyed and seem to lack any sort of patience for your partner, it’s a sign that you’ve lost basic respect and that you just don’t “like” your partner anymore.