5 Signs Your First Date With Him Should Also Be Your Last

Photo: getty
5 First Date Red Flags
Love

Sorry, but this guy's not serious about you.

Deciding to accept a date from someone for the first time can be anxiety-inducing for many women. After all, you're meeting a total stranger and wondering if he might be right for you. That's a lot of pressure.

You may worry whether you will make a good first impression or if the conversation will flow easily? Some women tend to be more accepting of a first date’s behavior, while others may be very discerning about who might have a chance for a second date.

My client Suzie is looking for the last love of her life. After enduring dozens of first dates, she has yet to meet anyone who she wants to see again. She is sure that she can quickly determine whether a man is right for her, but she worries that her friends might be right when they tell her that she is too picky.

Her best friend recently told her that she didn't want to hear her complain about the lack of worthwhile single men unless she starts getting to know some of them better by accepting second dates.


RELATED: 15 First Date Red Flags That Scream "No Second Date!"


Mike is the first man Suzie went out with after that conversation. He is attractive. They had a nice conversation. He wants to see her again. But something didn't seem quite right to Suzie.

No one wants to waste time dating the wrong guy. How you decide whether to give a man a second chance depends on what didn't seem right.

This is the thing: it's just a second date. All you're doing is getting to know each other better. You don't need to spend more than a couple of hours together. You can say "no" to anything he asks you to do. At this point, your goal is to have fun and do a little detective work to discover whether you like him more...or less than before.

The myth that good relationships start with great first dates is just that: a myth. The ability to impress a woman on a first date isn't a clear sign that a man has good relationship potential. It just means that he is good at dating.

Let’s look at it from Mike’s perspective. First date pressure could have caused him to feel shy or nervous, especially if he was highly attracted to Suzie. 

It’s likely that he will become more at ease if they get to know each other better. Once that happens, she will be likely to make a more accurate assessment of their chemistry and compatibility.


RELATED: The Dangerous 'Red Flag' Women Should Never Ignore With A New Guy


But there are circumstances when it’s best to say goodbye after the first date. 

Here are five red flags that signal that it may be unwise go on another date if you’re looking for a serious relationship:

1. Your date controls the conversational agenda.

He quickly dismisses what you have to say and changes the subject before you are ready. He is visibly impatient when you speak.

2. He shares things about his personal life that reveal his faults or incompatible values.

Someone who brings up topics like his therapy history, family dysfunctions or criminal run-ins shows a serious lack of judgment.

3. He can’t stop talking about what went wrong with his last relationship.

If your date is using you as a sounding board to get over his ex, he isn’t ready to relate to you.

4. He sends a signal that he’s only interested in a casual, sexual relationship.

For instance, by discussing his sexual history or fantasies — he's telling you what he wants and expects.

5. He discusses your yet-to-be-born children, plans a vacation for the two of you, or regales you with stories of your future together.

He is likely projecting an imaginary world in which his fantasy of you has a starring role.

While I think that it’s often wise to get to know a man over several dates before deciding if he has romantic potential, you’re better off if you walk away from him if he’s exhibiting any of above-listed red flags.


RELATED: If Your Guy Does These 7 Things, He's Playing You For A Fool


Annie Gleason is a successful dating coach who has helped hundreds of women find love. Her content has been featured on MSN, ABC TV, and KGO radio. Follow her on Facebook and view more dating advice

This article was originally published at Get A Love Life . Reprinted with permission from the author.

Author
Expert