Want To Date A Cougar? 5 Secrets She Wishes You Knew

Want To Date A Cougar?

Dear Angel,

If Cougars are horny and want to have sex, why is it so hard to get one to connect with me to flirt? I try to sext them and send sexy messages, but nothing works.

Curious Cub

Hi Curious,

I feel for guys like you. I get messages every single day from guys trying to flirt with me, and I have the exact opposite reaction.

The irony? Men are looking for a woman who likes sex. I am a woman who loves sex.  If it is too much too fast, I don't even read the second sentence of an eager Cub's message. You can't start with dessert when you haven't even set the table. It's a missed opportunity for sure.

If you like exciting a woman, there are plenty of Cougars out there. Are women saying no to you? Maybe you need a new approach. We ladies are so easy when it comes to reading erotic messages. If too many women delete your messages, there's definitely a problem. (Need Cougar Dating Tips? Go to

There are lots of horny women out there. They are hanging out in the chat rooms and on the dating sites. Do you know a single woman out there who doesn't love to text? You have the answer in the palm of your hand.

There is an art to inviting a woman to have an encounter with you—cyber or real time. Once you know the words to use, you can write her texts, emails and cards that will always work. Women can not resist the written word. It is worth every bit of practice on your part to learn which words to write and when.

 If a Cub starts by describing his length and girth down under,  it is very intimate and has the opposite effect on me. I have a huge "Ewwwww" reaction. If it was part of a story much later on in the scene, I may have liked it. Timing is everything.

When a man knows how to write living, breathing erotica to his woman, both will be very, very happy. Like I said, we are easy when it comes to classy story telling. So where do you begin?

5 Things Every Cub Needs To Know About His Cougar:

  1. A Fountain Of Youth: Whether she is 35, 45 or 65, there is a horny 17-year-old hiding out deep inside her. Once you coax that part of her out to play it is like you are a fountain of youth for her. Take all the time you need to awaken this part of your lady. Your success depends on it.
  2. History Lesson: The good side has a tough flip side. She hasn't really been 17 for a very long time. Her heart has been broken dozens of times.  Men have used her and abused her. The working world has chewed her up. She has a history. Lucky for you, you don't have to undo her history.  What you do need to do is respect it. She may seem very confident to you. She's strong and has been protecting herself for a long time. Dating you is a risk, and she may relax if she feels in control of the pace of the relationship. Even though she is okay with the age difference, the taboo view of family and friends needs to be eased.
  3. Insecurity Blanket: Makeup and Spanx may be helping your Cougar look as spectacular as she does. She is beautiful/adorable/irresistible to you and you want her. That means at some point, makeup and Spanx will be gone, and she will be her fabulous naked self. Though you love her body, she may not. What's the problem? There's a good chance that she is feeling badly about her body. Sags, ripples and dimples, spots, dots and wrinkles have appeared, and she is not thrilled. This is a major area for you to enchant her. It is not easy to turn a woman's thoughts around when it comes to her self-esteem, but when you do, she will adore you.
  4. Sleeping Beauty: There is a strong chance that your lady has not had a toe-curling orgasm in years or even ever before. Today, I am a 62-year-old who is having the best sex of my life. The much younger man who helped me discover how fun sex is will always be special to me.  Move delicately here and build trust so she can explain to you what she wants. And then, listen.
  5. Cyber Sex Secret: You may just find out that your lady is easily teased and pleased in chat. Phone sex can be hot also, but text sex has a nice advantage. She can keep it and read it again, and again. There is a good chance that she will feel safe and distant and that can open her up to major orgasmic activity. For some of us, there is nothing hotter than texting romantic actions back and forth with the right partner. It is like being in a romance novel. Delicious.

She may doubt your motives and not believe you are really attracted to her. The bottom line is that your Cougar is a survivor of love, romance and sex gone wrong. She has her history, and she likes you because you have a shorter story than hers. She loves attention and may be starving for exactly what you have to offer her. She may also doubt your motives and not believe that you are truly attracted to her. Let her control the pace. Show her you care about what is important to her. Let her take the relationship to the next level when she is ready. Flirt with her, and remember, she needs to feel smitten.

Notice I said SHE needs to feel smitten. You may be smitten, but that doesn't mean she is. If you are not sure if she is smitten, she is not. Read through the 5 tips above one more time. Give her time to see if she is smitten or not. It is super flattering to have a younger man interested; she just needs to see, feel and know it is real. Once she is smitten, the door opens.

Cougar romance is every bit as hot as you've heard. Take your time and enjoy the ride.

Catherine Behan (AKA Angel Snow) is a Peak Performance Coach specializing in teaching sex and pleasure tips through erotica. If you crave risky pleasure, can't find a partner or are just plain frustrated with sex, take the quiz at