Love, Self

Forget A Guy In Just 7 Days!

moving on

Breaking up is hard to do. Even when they guy you're breaking up with was never technically your boyfriend. This Valentine's Day, show love to yourself by making the decision to move on. Here are 7 days, and 7 ways, to get over your ex.

Tuesday 2/14: Indulge Yourself. When a break up is fresh, you have to do whatever it takes to get through the next 24 hours. That may mean letting yourself spend the day wallowing on your couch, throwing darts at his picture, or dishing to your friends about his sexual inadequacies. It may also mean Ben & Jerry. Or for those who prefer a stronger medication: Jim, Jack or Jose. On this day, just do whatever makes you feel good at the time. Your goal: immediate gratification. Just Broke Up? How To Regain A Sense Of Self

Wednesday 2/15: Focus on You. After spending a day giving in to your every whim, it's time to get focused. When in relationships, we tend to compromise too much, and let our personal goals get superseded by our relationship. Put the focus back on yourself starting from the inside out. Plan healthy balanced meals with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables to help your body feel healthy and refreshed. Do some sort of exercise you enjoy to distract your mind (running, swimming, yoga, rock climbing or a dance class). Spend some time thinking about your personal goals, what it will take to achieve them and make a plan for getting yourself on track.

Thursday 2/16: Feel Sexy. All too often, we rely on a guy's attention to make us feel sexy. Today, do something for yourself that will make you feel like a hottie. Get a haircut, buy some new make up, take the time to give yourself a mani pedi or buy a sexy new top. Can A Post-Breakup Haircut Help Heal A Broken Heart?

Friday 2/17: Reflect. After spending a few days focused on yourself, it's time to think about him again. But not in a longing way...but in an analytical way. What attracted you to him? What did you like about him or the relationship? What did you dislike? What can you learn from your relationship to help you with other guys in the future? And perhaps most importantly, do you still need closure from the relationship? And if so, how could you get that?

Saturday 2/18: It's time for the final good bye. With any break up comes some simple housekeeping issues. Maybe you have pictures of him hanging on your wall, have stuff of his to give back or have stuff of yours you have to get back from him. Then of course, there's the technicalogical headache of changing your facebook status, taking "your song" off your iPod, or changing his pet name back to his real name in your phone. On this day, take the time to physically remove him from your life, or temporarily hide any songs, objects, letters or pictures that will remind you of your relationship. And if you've decided you need to talk to him one last time, to tell him or ask him anything so that you can have closure, do it now. Then, you can start to really move on. The Number-One Reason Not To Be "Friends" With Your Ex

Sunday 2/19: Reconnect. Along with neglecting ourselves when we're in a relationship, we often neglect our friends and family. Or at the very least, we don't spend as much time with them as we would like. Take this weekend to reestablish your friendships and reach out to family members you may not have spoken to in a while. Remember how much love there is in your life—love that has nothing to do with a guy.

Monday 2/20: Back on the prowl. There is always some good that comes with getting a guy out of your life. And at the very least, that good is having the freedom of being single. There are plenty of eligible guys all around you. (I know, I traveled around the country and talked to over 1,000 of them!) Now you have the freedom; to flirt with them, date them, and if you feel like it, take them home. The guy you're leaving behind probably wasn't the first...and he's not going to be the last. When you open your eyes to it, there really are a whole lot of fish in the sea.  Start your week off right with a declaration to go find them!

Related: The All-Time Best Breakup Advice From Celebs

Amber Madison is an author, lectuer, and sex educator.  For her most recent book, Are All Guys Assholes? she traveled around the country and interviewed over 1,000 men about sex, dating, and relationships.  Need clarification your ex is an A-hole?  Download the A Hole Tester App based on information from the book.  

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