Self, Heartbreak

Just Broke Up? How To Regain A Sense Of Self

Feeling like you lost a part of yourself after a breakup? Are you not sure of who you are and what you want now that you're on your own?

In this video, Life Coach and YourTango expert, Inez Bracy, offers tips on how to reconnect with yourself post-split. Sometimes, it's as easy as revisiting the places and activities that you've always enjoyed, and working towards the future that you've always wanted. "I love me just as I am" is your new motto!

Learn how to heal all of your open wounds and break out of your shell, one step at a time.


Hello I’m Inez Brazy with Ask an Expert, answering your love and relationship questions.  Today’s question is: I lost my sense of self in my last relationship.  How do I regain a sense of me?

That happens too often when we get involved in relationships because as women we are nurturers and caregivers and we just want to give everything all the time.  and we forget who we are.  And by losing a sense of self in a relationship it’s important that now that you’re out of the relationships to spend some time figuring out who you are.  One of the main things I suggest to my clients is to think about all the things you enjoyed as a child.  The things that you enjoyed doing as you were growing up.  Your first job, going to school.  Whatever it was that made your heart sing.  And if you are no longer doing that, that’s a great place to start.  It’s also good to spend some time reflecting on what you want your future to be.  Because now that you have this opportunity to regain a sense of me, who you are, it’s important to know who you are from within.  And as you begin to look at who you are from within, you can discard all those thoughts and all those sayings that whoever was the adult in your life, whoever was older than you told you could do or could not do, and you know that you can, you can start doing them.  That’s also regaining a sense of who you are.  Start to explore all the opportunities that appeal to you.  And when you find one that just makes you smile, just makes your heart sing - go for it.  That would be my suggestion in regaining a sense of you and in the meantime, don’t forget to take perfect care of yourself.  Pamper yourself, go get facials, go get massages, go to the gym.  Do whatever is necessary to make you know that you love you.  That’s the fist step.  Finding out and embracing “I love me just as I am”.

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