Signs That Your Soul Mate Is A Lasting One


Meeting a soul mate can be confusing. Here's how to tell if they are your life partner too.

I once met a man who the moment he first touched me I heard the words, “I love you. I love you. I love you,” echoing throughout my body.  His touch alone activated that knowledge in my blood and being.  It was unusual, to say the least.  It was spectacular.  The feeling moved through me with the assuredness of something deeply soulful and so certain.  He was the best friend of some good friends (other soul friends) of mine.  And the union, our union seemed just oh so right­.

But despite all the initial signs including the months that we dated, this man turned out NOT to be MY man.

It can be so confusing when this happens to you.  You meet a soul mate (or soul friend) of the opposite gender, (or the gender of your preference) someone with whom you obviously have a deep connection, a connection that goes without words, one that is rich in depth and embedded in a love that is felt on both sides.  And then something happens, or life happens, and it turns out that you are not destined to be life partners– that in practical terms this just doesn’t work for the two of you.

It can be so hard to process if the timing or circumstances don’t align for this particular type of union, especially if this is your first time experiencing this depth of connection. Yet this kind of deeply soulful experience with someone you are attracted to doesn’t always mean they are your life mate.

I’m married now, to a man who is my life mate. I don’t think about my former lover very often now, but when I do, it’s with such a huge sigh of relief that I didn’t end up marrying him and miss out on my REAL life partner and true love, my husband


1. Does the relationship work? 

Like does it really work?  If there all kinds of things that go or feel wrong (be it timing, availability, or personality issues) that you ignore because “this is your soul mate,” it’s likely that this person might just be a good soul friend of yours—not your life partner.  Partnership is a good give and take. You enhance one another, you bring each other up another level, your gifts and qualities are recognized and valued by one another, your experience of life is better when you are together. You feel bolstered, not downtrodden, by your relationship with this person. In general, this person makes you feel good about being yourself, just as you are.

When you try to partner a soul friend who is not your life mate, it just doesn’t work that well.  You may sense a disparity in terms of equality.  Your qualities don’t align and in some cases they cancel each other out. In a friendship this wouldn’t necessarily matter– you’re not trying to live or create a life together– in a partnership you feel it.  It just doesn’t quite work.

2. Are you or the person available? 

And this can be on an energetic level too—are they truly ready to partner you?  Are they both internally ready and circumstance ready for you?  Like they want to jump in and have a real relationship with you right now.  If not, it’s very likely that you have a soul friendship—not to be confused with a life partnership.  You can feel great and deep love for another human being, even of the opposite sex, who is not your partner at all.  You can be seen by them, and see them in return.  If they truly are yours, you’ll both feel it and know it.  What’s yours is yours.  It has nothing to do with outside opinion or circumstances.  Souls recognize this.  If you are truly right for each other circumstances will align.

If that’s not right now, don’t waste your time pining for it.  It will only harm you internally.  If you are the hold-up– make the changes in your life that are necessary to create an opening.  If you’re not ready to do that, that’s a good sign for you that this is not the time or your “one.”


This isn’t the only person in the whole world with whom you have this connection. 

If this is your first time feeling it, it can be hard to comprehend that.  But where this person exists, there will be more.  You’ve got other soul friends waiting out there.  They come in all shapes and sizes: man, woman, child.  The soul-deep satisfaction of being in the presence of one is sublime, no matter what the actualities of your relationship are. 

Your connection is true and deep. 

It’s real what you are feeling. But that doesn’t always translate into romantic love, or even a life partnership.  This can be hard to grock when the person is of the opposite sex, or the gender that you desire.  Your mind wants to make it the “everything,” in terms of partnership.  Just because this person is not that doesn’t make the connection or the experience any less true or powerful.  Your soul knows them.  And vice versa.  Now it’s just a matter of finding the right relationship for this connection in this lifetime.

What’s yours is yours. 

I said it earlier too.  In my experience when you meet the one that IS yours there is a feeling of rightness and of certainty.  It’s easy and natural.  It just feels right and good on all levels.  It’s not a question, “Is this a Yes?”  Or, “Can we make this work?”  It just is a Yes.  And as you roll along in it and watch it unfold it will continue to feel that way too, for both of you.  It will work.  It does work.  Because in essence, it feels like you belong together.  That’s because you do.

If you are struggling with understanding or processing a soul mate relationship question, I’d love to help you see the situation more clearly.  You can schedule an appointment with me today.