Self, Heartbreak

Are You In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship? Get Out NOW

In spite of what many men and women may believe, abuse of any kind in a relationship is completely unacceptable. It's NOT normal and certainly does NOT mean love. If you're in a relationship where your partner goes off on tangents because you've set the dinner table incorrectly, there is a distinct possibility that this is a form of psychological and emotional abuse, and both men and women can be the abuser in the relationship. There are some things that you need to understand about what constitutes abuse and what doesn't.

For one thing, you should let your feelings guide you in certain instances. If you're afraid all the time and you walk on eggshells around your partner for fear of setting him or her off, you're probably in an abusive relationship. No one should ever have to live that way and certainly not with someone that's supposed to love them. On the other hand, if your feelings are telling you that you're a horrible husband, boyfriend, wife or girlfriend and you deserve the various punishments that come your way for imagined wrongs, then you DON'T need to listen to yourself. You need to seek some help for those feelings of worthlessness.

Abuse comes in many forms and it's vitally important to recognize them. Obviously, if your partner is hitting you, it's considered physical abuse. However, sometimes the abuse that may exist in a relationship is not so cut and dry. Mental and verbal abuse can be just as serious. The scars may not be physically visible but they're in places that can affect you throughout your entire life. For example, being told over and over again how worthless you are and how you can't do anything right may not seem like a huge deal until you realize that you're starting to believe this about yourself. Both men and women abusers will do everything they can to convince their partners that if they leave, the worst things they ever feared would happen to them will, indeed, come to pass. Yes, these abusers don't leave physical marks, but they ARE just as dangerous to the quality of your life as the ones that lash out with their fists or weapons.

Men and women who abuse the partners they proclaim to love are, simply put, monsters. They're weak, petty, insecure, cowardly little creatures that feel the only way they can keep their partner with them is through a show of intimidation and/or force. If they can control every move their partner's make, then they'll never be alone because their partner becomes too terrified to leave. Now, isn't that a wonderful way to conduct a relationship? These people truly believe that they can FORCE their partner into loving them. Well, fear and love aren't the same.

There are a few ground rules that you should remember in order to keep yourself out of abusive relationships. First, NO ONE has the right to beat you into submission. You should never feel afraid of the one who is supposed love you, and if you are, it's time to leave and figure out why. An abusive relationship is NOT better than being alone. If you're alone, you've got a better chance of leading a quality life, whereas, with an abuser, you'll never have that.

Just remember that abuse is NOT love, and it never will be. Abuse is about control, power and cruelty. It's also about danger. Be brave and get out if you're in a relationship like this. There are people that will help and protect you while you build a new life.