5 Subtle Ways Strong Women Can Let Men Know They're Interested — Without Scaring Them Off
You can be an independent strong woman and still have the love you deserve.
Joshua Resnick | Canva I, representing the alpha women in my circle, am proudly aware of how fortunate I am to have overcome life’s obstacles so far. It is also clear that the independence, strength, and purpose that come from overcoming obstacles is worth its weight in gold.
So what’s the problem? Many of these same strong women in my world are single and not happy about it.
Here are 5 ways strong women can let shy guys know they're interested — without scaring them off:
1. If you are highly attracted, tell him
"Jeff, I felt so comfortable with you. I was pleasantly surprised at how safe and comfortable I felt tonight." Affirming that you feel safe, protected, or cared for affirms for him the value of his quiet presence. Research from The Gottman Institute states how important it is to feel safe in a relationship to build an emotional connection.
2. If you want a date, set the next meeting before you end your first meeting
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Take something from your coffee date, a common interest, or an event upcoming and say, "Bob, I noticed that the Watercolor Society is having an open house this weekend, would you like to go together?"
Asking if he wants to go together is not as assertive as saying, "Do you want to go on Friday?"
3. If the opportunity to set a second meeting doesn't happen, follow up
Text right after you get home from the first meeting and say something like, "Carlos, I had a phenomenal time meeting you. When would you like to get together again?
"That direct?" I said to Fran. "Yes, that direct," she replied.
4. Compliment his quietness
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"Jim, I am so naturally talkative, I can learn a lot from how quiet you are. You are such a good listener."
Challenge yourself to identify the values a complementary personality can bring to your life. Be honest with yourself. Everyone loves a genuine compliment, especially from someone they're romantically interested in. Research from 2008 shows the brain processes verbal affirmations similarly to financial rewards.
5. Know when to let it go, yet keep the door open
Once you have texted and perhaps called to invite his attention, letting it go is the best idea. "Johnny, it seems for whatever reason that it isn't a match between us at the moment. I would still enjoy getting together so please go ahead and text me should you want to get together again."
Don’t be surprised if an introvert reaches back to you after a few weeks. Give him the benefit of the doubt. He has worked up his courage to reach out. Reward him with your attention and see if there is anything there. Are you ready to date a beta?
Catherine Behan is a highly educated dating coach, freelance writer, and editor. She currently works as a Law of Attraction and Success Coach, where she leverages her expertise in EFT to help people attract abundance into their lives.
