Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Refusing To Take Niece On Day Trip With Daughter

She's defending her actions.

Woman and little girl packing for trip Yuganov Konstantin / Shutterstock

A woman wonders if she's in the wrong after refusing to take her niece on a day trip, even though the woman was bringing her daughter.

Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA), the woman, 33, wrote that she has a daughter, 5, and her sister-in-law, Tina, 34, has a daughter as well, Cassie, 5, from a previous relationship.

She explained that every summer their family goes on a holiday retreat for a month.

"This past summer, I was there for 6 weeks and Jake [her stepbrother] and Tina were there for 4. My husband was there for three weeks on and off due to work commitments, and I brought the nanny," the woman shared.


She added that it's usually her, her step-siblings, and their partners who go on the annual trip.

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During the third week of their vacation, the woman said that Jake and Tina were there when she and her husband decided to take their daughter on a day trip.

After the woman told her family she wanted to take her daughter on a trip, Tina asked if she would consider taking Cassie along as well.

"I was very confused as to why Tina would ask this as I have barely any interaction with Cassie, I find some of her behavior very off-putting," the woman wrote.


"And second, Tina and I don't know each other well enough that I'd ever consider asking her such a favor."

The woman refused to take her niece along on the day trip.

After the woman told her sister-in-law that she wasn't going to Cassie since it was only supposed to be a trip for her, her husband, and her daughter, Tina continued to insist.

"She begged me to take Cassie and said she hasn't had a break the whole summer, she's overwhelmed, and would like to spend some time with Jake."

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After Tina continued to beg, even asking if the woman's nanny would be able to watch Cassie, the woman continued to deny her requests, explaining that their nanny had the day off.


It wasn't long before Tina became upset and started to cry, but the woman chose that moment to walk away, not knowing what to do to calm down her sister-in-law.

When the woman eventually came back from her day trip with her daughter and husband, Tina was nowhere to be found.

"My mother said she had reached a compromise with Tina that they would watch Cassie for the evening so Tina could rest."

However, the woman noted that the next day, Tina was acting colder toward her.

The woman said that following the family's trip, they'd all arrived back home and a few days ago they were all discussing Christmas plans over text in a group chat.

It was then that Tina made a comment about everyone being more "accommodating" with her during their next get-together.


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"I just replied that I wouldn't be needing any accommodations, thanks, and the conversation moved on," the woman continued. 

"My mother says while she understands why I said no, seeing the state Tina was in and the meltdown she had after I left, she would have said yes." 

The woman's mother told her that she doesn't "understand how tough" finding free time to relax while having children is since she has "so much help." 


Most people who commented on the woman's Reddit post agreed that she was NTA (Not The A--hole).

"You chose to have a child and no one else is responsible for your child," one user wrote.

"You can ask for someone to babysit your child, but you have no right to expect and demand it, then manipulate people with tears and tantrums to guilt them into doing it."

Another user chimed in, writing, "Good on your parents and Jake for watching the kid to give her a break. You are under no obligation to watch her kid and I would have said no as well."

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.