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He says it was just drunk banter.
By NyRee Ausler — Written on Nov 28, 2022
One woman took to the AIBU (Am I Being Unreasonable) section of Mumsnet to share her frustration with her brother-in-law’s behavior at her recent birthday party.
The woman explains that a friend recently reached out to ask if she had spoken with her brother-in-law since the birthday party, which happened two months ago.
That friend wanted to let the poster know that the man had said some questionable things at the party and had made "a lot of people extremely uncomfortable."
The man came to the party alone and let his misogyny out.
To give us some history, the woman shares that her brother-in-law, her husband’s brother, has four young children and because they were unable to hire a nanny, his wife stayed home.
She claims that he always drinks a lot and that this time was no different.
When asked about what type of work he does, the man made some very interesting comments.
According to people at the party, he said that he is the “breadwinner” of the family and that his wife only works a "token" role for "housekeeping money."
He went on to say that his wife wasn’t there because he deserved a break due to his £160k per year job.
He neglected to mention that his wife actually has a career as an accountant.
He went on to brag about pawning his work off on "underlings," his Jaguar, and his skill at "playing the game," before complaining that poor people should work harder.
His conversation at the party then took a racist turn.
As if the people at the party hadn’t been subjected to enough from him, the woman’s intoxicated brother-in-law went on to tell partygoers how much he loved his "little village."
He described Black and Asian people by using racist slurs when celebrating the fact that his so-called village did not include them.
According to the poster, a Black friend of hers objected to the man’s comments and he responded, "Oh f--k off, you woke prick."
He didn’t stop there and went on to accuse his sister-in-law of collecting gay friends as "tokens."
The woman is understandably disgusted and embarrassed by her brother-in-law’s antics.
Her partner doesn’t have a particularly close relationship with his sibling nor does she.
Now she is considering keeping her children away from their racist uncle and letting the rest of her in-laws know what transpired.
For insight into the family the hateful man was raised in, she claims, "None of the rest of the family are as extreme in their views but are right-leaning on the political spectrum."
The woman especially believes her sister-in-law will understand her need to distance herself and her kids from the man but believes it could simply be brushed off as "drunk banter."
She is concerned about upsetting her parents-in-law, but at the same time, wants to call out the man’s unacceptable behavior.
Some readers could relate as they have people like him in their own lives.
One person wrote, "My BIL (brother-in-law) is similar but not as rich."
"Has no concept of who he is speaking to and thinks everyone is as racist and misogynistic as him. We've gone NC (no contact) but we haven't done it in any 'calling out' way."
Another person agreed that she should cut him off, posting, "That's horrendous. No way would I have this person around my children."
"It's amazing what people say when the filters come off after a drink, then try to pass it off as drunk chat. Weirdly I don't become a vile racist after a glass of wine...."
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.