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Mom Asks If She's Wrong For Refusing To Attend Daughter's Wedding If Her Ex Is Invited

Photo: Kyryk Ivan/ Shutterstock.com
Mother, Daughter

At what point do you set your differences aside with your ex for the sake of your child?

One such woman is conflicted with this question and has taken to Reddit’s “r/AmItheA–hole,” (AITA) to get some advice. The subreddit is where users from across the internet ask for advice on a conflict in their lives.

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A mother says she doesn't want to go to her daughter's wedding if her ex is there.

The mother separated from her ex due to the emotional abuse she endured. 

The mother explains how her daughter’s (Mia) father was a “narcissistic jerk and was often emotionally abusive” and made her cry regularly. 

The two separated when Mia was 8 but her dad regularly paid monthly child support as well as sending her extravagant gifts when he didn’t make it to her birthday parties. 

Now that Mia is 22, she’s getting married. 

While working on the guest list with her mother and stepfather, Mia would dodge questions about who was walking her down the aisle. 

When she was finally pressed about the situation, Mia confessed she wanted her bio dad to walk her down the aisle. 

“My husband said, ‘Bull, I've been raising you forever, it's not fair,’” the mother wrote. 

“Mia replied, ‘My real dad bought me a car, he paid for my surgery, and he even sent me money for a dog.’ My husband looked heartbroken and went out of the house and told me he was going to the bar.”

Mia expressed to her mother that she really wanted her father to walk her down the aisle, even confessing they had been writing letters to each other. 

“I then said something I regretted,” she continued. “I said, ‘If you invite him, I'm not giving you my wedding dress or coming.’”

Mia ran out crying and now the rest of the family is calling the mother “heartless.”

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Reddit is split in the comments. 

While most people recognize and sympathize with the mother for the emotional abuse she went through, one user still insists she’s in the wrong. 

“YTA. [You're The A--hole] You and your husband can be disappointed and hurt, but she’s allowed to have a good relationship with her biological dad even if he was an abusive partner and absent father in the past,” they wrote, continuing that while it seems like her reasoning is financially-driven, Mia also mentioned they “have been in contact and building a relationship for some time.”

But the most popular opinion is that the mother isn’t in the wrong. 

She endured emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissist so it’s completely reasonable that she doesn’t want to see him at such a special occasion, especially because he didn’t do most of the parenting. 

One user properly articulated this in a comment underneath the thread. 

“Don’t get the YTA. Yes it’s the daughter's wedding day but the dad wasn’t parenting her in any way. Just buying gifts to make up for his lack of parenting. Burning bridges slowly and I hope your daughter sees her bio dad for the crap dad he really is. NTA.”

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 Victoria Soliz is a writer with YourTango who covers news and entertainment content. Her work explores pop culture trends, film and TV, and celebrity news