Woman Refuses To RSVP To Her Sister's Wedding Since She Will Be Required To Write An 'Application Essay' To Attend The Big Day

Finalizing the guest list is never easy, but one woman's sister took eligibility to the next level.

Wedding, application, bride, sister Shipilov77777 / Dragon Images / Shutterstock

When most people RSVP to a wedding, all they most likely have to do is check off a box informing the bride and groom whether or not they will be attending. However, one woman claims that she was asked to answer essay prompts in order to be invited to her sister’s wedding.

After she refused, tensions sparked between her sister and the rest of her family, who are begging the woman to just fill out the essay prompts so that she could be a part of the big day. 


The woman’s sister asked potential guests to fill out an essay prompt explaining why they want to attend her wedding. 

Sharing her story to the subreddit, "r/AmItheA-–hole" (AITA), the 27-year-old woman revealed that her sister was engaged and planning on having a destination wedding. However, due to the covid-19 pandemic, her sister’s wedding venue reduced its capacity by half, forcing her to eliminate some of her wedding guests who were originally invited. 

To determine which guests will still be invited to the wedding, the woman says that her sister has sent out “re-invites” to those who already RSVP’d yes.


“But in order to figure out who to invite and who to cut, she’s asking all confirmed guests to submit two 250-word ‘essays’ to two questions,” the woman wrote. “The gist is that they’ll use these essays to choose who can come or not, based on people’s enthusiasm. People who don’t write essays at all will be automatically disqualified.” 

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The woman admits that she feels “insulted” by her sister’s decision, believing that her sister’s wedding is not something she should be forced to fill out an application to attend. 

“The questions aren’t even pandemic-related, it’s broad topics like ‘Why do you still want to celebrate this day with us?’ and ‘What will attending our wedding mean to you specifically?’” the woman added. “She’s blatantly looking for people to kiss a-– and tell her why they REALLY want to go.” 


The woman refuses to write the essays even if it means she cannot attend the wedding.

The woman informed her sister that she would not be writing a 500-word essay to buy her own plane tickets, hotel room, and a wedding gift.

“This has really rubbed her and my parents the wrong way,” she wrote. “She’s said that to keep things fair if I don’t fill out the RSVP correctly I won’t be saved a spot. I said fine with me.” 

However, the woman’s parents are pleading with her to write the essays to avoid causing “trouble” with the rest of her relatives. She asked other Redditors if she was being unreasonable for standing by her decision.


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Most Redditors agreed with the woman that having to fill out essay prompts to attend her sister's wedding was ridiculous. 

“If they don’t care enough to ‘reserve’ you a spot, why would you want to celebrate a day with someone so selfish?  I think they’re going to get a hard dose of reality when people don’t respond or meet their 500-word essay,” one user commented. 

“Your sister should have sucked it up and cut the guest list herself. Getting people to kinda beg for an invite? To be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if less than half end up going,” another user wrote.

“I would definitely send in two essays. The first would say ‘Mom/Dad said I have to come or I’m in BIG trouble’ over and over again until you hit 250. The second, ‘I’m your sibling,’” another user suggested. 


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While the woman’s sister was undoubtedly put in a difficult situation due to her venue capacity being cut, there were other routes she could have taken rather than requiring her guests to compose lengthy essays. 

Narrowing down a guest list is a common dilemma that many couples face while planning their wedding.

In a helpful TikTok, Elizabeth (@elizabeth_bliss_events), a destination wedding planner, offers her advice to couples on how they can effectively manage their guest lists and make the most out of their big days. 

"I would say the easiest way... is to take your total wedding budget, let's say overall your wedding costs about $30,000. You are going to divide that by your total guest count... that gives you about $200 per person," Elizabeth explains. 


Using her example, she says that couples will then determine which guests are worth spending the money for. 



"Let's say your Aunt Susan's neighbor Karen was on the guest count. If she's not worth $200... cut her out," Elizabeth recommends. "It's the easiest way to go through your guest list and determine whose worth being there on your wedding day and whose not." 

The woman's sister could have also found a different venue, waited until her original venue allowed full capacity again, or opt for a small and intimate wedding for family and friends. 


Nevertheless, her sister was part of her immediate family, and should not have to advocate for herself to watch her sister get married. 

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.