Bride Considers Dropping A Bridesmaid Who Was Diagnosed With Cancer Because She'd Ruin The 'Aesthetic' Of The Wedding Photos

You've never seen a bridezilla quite like this.

woman with cancer, bride and text PintoArt and Vitalii Smulskyi via Shutterstock

We’ve all heard our fair share of “bridezilla” horror stories, whether it be the bride throwing a fit over the cake being an inch too high or the flowers being a shade too light. However, an interaction between a bride and her bridesmaids shared on Reddit may take the cake as the world’s worst bridezilla tale. 

The text message sent from the bride to all of her bridesmaids except for one had her wedding party, and pretty much the rest of the Internet, horrified and fuming. 


The bride was concerned that one of her bridesmaids, who was losing her hair due to cancer treatment, would ruin the aesthetic of her wedding photos. 

The soon-to-be bride voiced her concerns in a group chat posted to Reddit's r/wedding shaming forum that consisted of all of her bridesmaids except her friend who was recently diagnosed with cancer. She sent the barbaric message asking the rest of her party for their opinions on the matter. 

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“So Mader didn’t have cancer when I asked her to be my bridesmaid but now I’m having second thoughts about her being in the wedding,” the bride wrote. “She mentioned the other day that her hair has started to fall out a bit and I noticed that it was looking thinner than normal.” 


During chemotherapy cancer treatments, hair loss is a common side effect that approximately 65% of patients experience. 

bride text message to wedding party about bridesmaid with cancerPhoto: Reddit 

“I just can’t envision having all you beautiful ladies up there with me looking fabulous and then Mader with no hair,” the bride admitted. “I just feel like it’ll distract from me and [my partner] and I just feel it won’t fit with the look I’m going for.” 


She asks her bridesmaids if she should ask her sick bridesmaid to “wear a wig” to conceal her hair loss or if she should kick her out of the bridal party entirely. 

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The bride's concerns enraged her wedding party and other Reddit users.

Clearly, one of her bridesmaids was appalled by her dilemma, replying, “Wtf, are you serious right now?? to the inconsiderate bride. 

Other Reddit users were also left disgusted. “It is hard to imagine that someone can be this selfish but these stories just prove there are many out there,” one user commented. 

“What’s really sad is that the bride could have seen this as a fun day for someone who is going through such a hard time… and if God forbid anything happens, she would always have had her friend in her wedding photos, smiling,” another user pointed out. “Isn’t that a better memory than ‘There’s the bridesmaid I made wear a wig because her cancer head wasn’t aesthetic enough for my fancy wedding?’” 


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The bridesmaid discovered the bride's concerns and dropped out of the bridal party and the wedding as a guest. 

Eventually, one of the bridesmaids sent the cruel message to Mader, who took it upon herself to offer the bride her own opinion. She decided to not only drop out of the bridal party but as a wedding guest entirely.

“It has come to my attention that you are concerned about me potentially losing my hair and how that will affect the 'aesthetic' of your wedding,” Mader wrote to the bride in a text message. “I would just HATE for my chemotherapy treatment and the resulting side effects to negatively affect you and your wedding day so I will not be attending.” 

bridesmaid with cancer text to bridePhoto: Reddit 


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Mader wished that she would have “read the fine print” on her chemotherapy treatments so she could have been fully aware that not only would the chemo result in “nausea, exhaustion and neuropathy” but also the loss of one of a “friend,” who would become an “insensitive, self-centered and heartless douche-baguette.” 

The bride reached out to Mader, attempting to explain herself.

She claims that she did not mean what she wrote “in a negative way.” “I just wasn’t expecting you to get cancer and lose your hair when I asked you to be my bridesmaid and now it’s hard to see that with my vision of my wedding day,” the bride shared. “I’ve been dreaming about this day since I was a little girl and I’ve always had a vision of what it would look like and the photos to remember it by.” 

bride text to bridesmaid with cancerPhoto: Reddit 


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The bride adds that she would be “totally fine” with Mader wearing a wig, and even offers to take her out on a shopping day to purchase one. She encourages her former friend to still attend the wedding as a guest, and that it “would mean the world” to her to have her there. 

Mader’s response is hilariously ruthless. “OMG, you are so right! I can’t imagine how unexpected it must have been for YOU to find out that I had cancer,” she writes. “How selfish of me and my hair to not consider that.” 

Mader also sarcastically notes that she will show up to the wedding wearing “a clown wig” to match the bride’s “delusional a–,” and instead of going shopping for one and making a day out of it, she suggests that the bride make a day “walking barefoot across an endless sea of legos.”


She adds that she is unfortunately booked for the day of the wedding anyway since “a psychic has inquired about using my head as a crystal ball” that same day. 

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bridesmaid with cancer text to bridePhoto: Reddit 


“Though I will miss the opportunity to chemo-vomit in your bouquet, this is me officially RSVPing- Not attending on account of you being a soggy pop tart,” Mader concluded the message. 

While wedding planning should be an exciting opportunity that allows you to form a closer bond with your bridal party, it is incidents like this that can sadly result in the end of friendships. Thankfully in this situation, it appears that Mader gained a deeper insight into who her “friend” really was, and can hopefully continue to heal both physically and emotionally. 

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.