Woman Asks If She’s Wrong For Refusing To Pay Child Support For Stepdaughter After Husband Left Her
His ex wants her to pay.
fizkes / Shutterstock A woman on Reddit told the story of how her husband decided to just up and leave her and their two daughters, ages one and five.
The husband, 35, had an ex-wife with whom he also shared a daughter, and while they didn’t have any sort of formal custody agreement, their step-daughter would visit from time to time.
The husband would also pay child support every month on the first.
Since the husband is nowhere to be found, the ex-wife expects the newly-single mother to pay child support, something that she can’t afford to do.
The woman wants to know if she’s in the wrong for refusing to pay her step-daughter’s child support.
The woman, 25, posted her story on the site-famous subreddit “r/AmItheA--hole,” where people go to share their trials and tribulations before being judged by a jury of their internet peers.
Instead of “guilty” and “not guilty,” this metaphorical jury will assign you a rating by saying “you’re the a--hole” (YTA), or you’re “not the a--hole” (NTA) after being given all of the context clues and story details behind why you decided to do what you did.
“My husband's excuse for just leaving us in the dust was that I am ‘damaged goods’ and he ‘couldn't hack it’ being a father anymore,” she says of the deadbeat dad.
“He didn't ‘feel any joy’ in parenting and wanted to ‘live a free life’ so he changed his number, blocked me on all social media, changed all of his passwords, and told his friends/family not to speak to me.”
Now that the excess weight was gone from the relationship, the newly-single mother struggled financially.
“I've been a SAHM [stay-at-home mom] since our eldest was born, got my degree and we talked about me going back to the workforce once she entered kindergarten this year in the fall. But it was nothing set in stone,” she wrote.
After her ex-husband’s ex-wife reached out to her, she started to feel bad because his absence affected her finances too.
Curious as to how much her husband had been giving them, she asked just how much he owed her.
“She told me she needed the $900 he usually gives her because both she and her new husband are struggling to pay their bills and they 'rely' on that child support to make their rent payment, and they were behind,” she wrote.
Understandably, she couldn’t do it. She had no job and had to rely on her savings just to put a roof over her children's heads, but the ex-wife wasn’t a fan of that decision.
“She blew up my phone... saying she can understand why he left me, etc,” she wrote. “Threatening to keep my step-daughter away from me and my kids because we are ‘bad influences.' And that my step-daughter is going to struggle because I can't fork over money I literally do not have.”
She remained adamant in her decision, but only because she literally could not afford not to, and the Redditors understood her plight.
“Honestly, I'm confused why the ex-wife would ask you and why you would even debate it internally? This is a no-brainer here,” said one Reddit user.
It’s not up to her at all. She’s the wife of the man who is supposed to pay the child support, but they don’t even have any legal precedent for that anyway.
Even if the wife was by some stretch supposed to be responsible, she couldn’t legally be held accountable.
“You have your own critical issues to deal with. While her situation is sad, it's not your responsibility in any way,” said another user. “What a miserable human being your husband is. I'm sorry.”
Many people offered legal advice, saying that if her husband’s ex-wife doesn’t have any formal documentation for child support, she should file first, as it’s done in order of who files first.
Whatever the case, many Redditors shared their well-wishes along with their NTA ratings, since this woman is clearly not in the wrong.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Since graduating from Rutgers University, he spends most of his free time gaming or playing a fictional sport. Keep up with his rants about current events on his Twitter.