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She hid the child from him for 5 years.
By Isaac Serna-Diez — Written on Feb 13, 2022
A 29-year-old man went to Reddit to post about how his 30-year-old ex-girlfriend, whom he refers to as “Jane,” has tried to come back into his life to get his child support money for their 5-year-old son he knew nothing about.
Jane cheated on him with his ex-friend/roommate at the time, “Ted,” and caused him to block all his friends who didn’t side with him and cut everyone out of his life completely so he could move on.
After landing a high-salary position and posting about his engagement to his new girlfriend, 26-year-old “Ashley,” she has now reached out to try and siphon his money after years of not telling him that they had a child together.
Now he’s wondering whether or not he’s an “a--hole” for refusing to pay child support unless he can be a part of the child’s life.
For those who don’t know if they’re in the wrong, there’s a little subreddit called “r/AmItheA--hole” which is full of wonderful internet strangers that will help you work through your problems by offering their opinions and advice by giving you a rating that boils down to “yes” or “no.”
The rating system is based on comments that will either read, NTA, which stands for “Not The A--hole,” YTA, which stands for “You’re The A--hole,” NAH, which means “No A--holes Here,” or ESH, which means “Everyone Sucks Here.”
The man in this posting explains that, at first, he thought that Jane was making the child up to get into contact with him.
“I thought Jane was full of it because it had been six months between me catching her cheating and me moving away before changing my number, and years between then and now,” he explained.
“Plenty of time for Jane to realize that she was pregnant and contact me about it, or even come after me for child support.”
After several attempts from Jane to reach out to him through fake social media accounts that weren’t blocked, he got his lawyer to send her a letter to stop, but the lawyer came back with photos of his son.
“It wasn't until Jane came across my account and saw how nice my life was that she felt like her son deserved the financial benefits as well,” he continued.
“[I] did a DNA test and I am the father, I agreed that child support was required and told Jane and Ted that I would have my lawyers send over details about payment and visitation.”
He believed that if this child was really his, he would help financially support him and be part of his life, but Ted didn’t like that plan.
“Ted was upset and refused to sign away his rights and doesn't want me around ‘his son,’” he explained. “I promptly told him that if I'm gonna pay child support then I'm entitled to all the legal rights that a father is entitled to and that they wouldn't get a dime from me until then.”
Legally, Ted is the father. Since Ted is married to Jane and the birth certificate says that Ted is the father, the poster doesn’t have any real rights to the child — but that also means he isn’t forced to pay child support.
If they don’t do things on his terms, he said he would save until the child is an adult, prompting them to call him selfish, and leading him to wonder if he’s making the right move.
Unsurprisingly, everyone was on his side.
“So years later she wants you to bankroll her happy family but never see the kid? I wouldn’t be ok with that either. NTA,” read the top comment.
The moment he announced his engagement, Jane decided to reach out and ask for his money.
Not only that but to ask for his money and not let him be a part of the kid’s life at all either.
“Did they just think you were going to secretly give them money while your son had no idea who you were?” read another comment.
Several other Redditors called them “greedy,” and applauded the savings account idea and the poster for not giving in to their scheme.
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Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.