Woman Asks If She’s Wrong For Refusing To Do Her Sister’s Hair For Her Wedding After She Survived Cancer

Her sister is too self-conscious to let anyone else do her hair.

Bride getting her hair done Peopleimages.com / Shutterstock

A woman on Reddit is opening up about her family issues that have damaged her relationship with her sister.

Even her sister's cancer diagnosis and recovery couldn't heal years of problems and now the woman has turned to Reddit’s AITA "r/AmItheA--hole" thread to ask internet users for advice.

The woman refused to do her sister’s hair because of the things her sister has said to her in the past.

The woman’s sister is getting married soon, so she reached out to her because she's a hairstylist. 


Her sister has recently finished her cancer treatments and her hair suffered because of it.

“She's very self-conscious of it so she wanted me to be her hair stylist on her wedding day, instead of going to a salon,” she said.

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The woman refused her sister's request due to issues they had in the past.

She explains that when her sister’s best friend died many years ago, her sister wanted her family to be at the funeral.

However, the woman who wrote the Reddit post says she wasn’t able to go because she was recently diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and she truthfully never liked her sister's best friend. She says the friend was always mean to her growing up so she didn't feel obliged to attend her funeral.


Her sister didn’t take this well and was quite upset with her.

“My sister told me she wished it had been me who died instead of her best friend because at least her best friend would have cared,” she said.

In another instance, the woman’s sister called her a 'terrible' hairstylist.

After the incident with her sister’s best friend, their relationship was strained.

Another argument, however, caused them to drift even further apart.

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The woman mentioned that she was the hairstylist for their brother’s wedding where she was working on her sister-in-law’s hair. 


“She ended up mocking me for being so quiet and saying I must be a terrible stylist,” she wrote. “Because everyone knows you go to chat to the stylist as much as to get your hair done, and I can hardly hold a conversation.”

After that exchange, the woman completely cut her sister out of her life.

The woman also acknowledged that her sister had suffered a lot due to her cancer treatments, but she can’t overlook their past problems.


The hairstylist revealed that her parents were disappointed when she refused to help her sister, and as a result, she went to Reddit to ask other people whether she was wrong.

Redditors didn’t blame the woman and claimed that she wasn’t in the wrong.

Many people sided with the woman after reading the whole story claiming that her sister’s illness shouldn’t be taken into account here.

One person wrote, “I’m also a stylist! and I came here to say: overlook her sickness & focus on how she’s treated you in the past. Would you accept this treatment from a client? I would say no.”

Another person commented, “I’ve always believed an illness doesn’t just magically change someone’s horrible personality. For the sister to wish death was horrific.”


Some people say that both the sisters were to be blamed.

Some internet users saw the whole story and claimed that both the sisters caused the issues to develop between the two.

People thought that both the women had been at fault in the past and this situation wasn't one-sided.

One person commented, “Sounds like you’ve both behaved terribly towards each other in the past and are in a neutral place now. If you want things to get better, doing this nice thing could help. If you want things to get worse, decline.”


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Sanika Nalgirkar is a news & entertainment writer at YourTango based in Seattle, Washington. She has a master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of Washington. You can check out some of her writing on her website.