Photo: Shutterstock / Jacob Lund
Their mom is no longer in their lives.
By Ashley Darkwa-Anto — Written on Jun 10, 2022
After an altercation with her sister about her mother’s wedding dress, a woman took to Reddit.
She posted on Reddit’s “Am I the A—hole?” subreddit, allowing users to submit sides of any issue or conflict they’re dealing with to receive an objective view of the situation. Posting your story enables other users to vote and debate who’s right and wrong.
This young woman asked Redditors to vote if she was in the wrong for not letting her older sister wear their mother’s wedding dress for her wedding.
Her sister is getting married in about a year, and when their mother got married, she had this beautiful custom-made dress that she wanted her daughters to wear when they got married.
The woman’s sister didn’t like the dress when she was younger. She “hated it,” and “she, very vocally, trashed the dress.” She called the dress ugly and said she didn’t want to wear anything second-hand.
Their mom offered the dress a few more times, and her sister always declined. At the woman’s quinceñera, their mother offered the wedding dress one last time and was rejected again.
So their mother gave it to her second daughter as one of her presents that day; therefore, the dress is hers. And “now that mom is not around anymore, [it’s her] most precious piece.”
Her sister and her fiancé very bluntly asked for the dress.
The woman was shocked because “she got it offered a bunch of times, and she said that, while the dress wasn’t her favorite piece still, it was something [their] mom wore and loved.”
She wanted to wear it so it felt like their mom was with them at the wedding, but she would be sure to return the dress.
She said no because she had her chance to take the dress, so she should get something else because she wanted to be the first one to get married in the dress.
Her sister “went absolutely ballistic” and told her that the dress was hers since she was the oldest and that she had to “suck it up.”
Then she gave her an ultimatum: give up the dress or be disinvited to the wedding.
Their dad is siding with the woman who wrote the Reddit post because he “saw how badly she rejected [their] mom,” but everyone else is siding with her sister.
The results were a mix, but overall most Redditors decided that the woman was NTA.
One user emphasized that their mother “properly” gave the dress to the woman, so it’s not her mom’s anymore; instead, it’s hers. It was also valid to want the dress to be in good condition when her special day came.
Others agreed that it was the posters dress now, and while her sister the dress may remind her of her mother, “her entitlement and angry reaction makes her the AH.”
ESH (Everybody Sucks Here) was seemingly the following popular answer.
Some users thought her sister might have taken advantage of having her mom there, which would be why she rejected it. They ultimately feel that both sisters are being “petty” and both should get married in their mother’s dress.
Other users took this story personally and decided on YTA (You’re the A—hole).
One user felt it was unfair “to hold someone to a fashion decision she made about her non-existent wedding,” nor did they think her sister’s reaction was “wildly out of range.”
Another user agreed, writing that they hate when “people hold teenagers acting like teenagers against them at later stages in life.”
While another claimed the sister was allowed to change her mind and that the woman shouldn’t forget that it was her mom too.
Ashley Darkwa-Anto is a writer at YourTango based in New Jersey. She covers News & Entertainment.