Photo: Shutterstock / IVASHstudio
Her friend is being disrespectful.
By Ashley Darkwa-Anto — Written on Jun 19, 2022
Weddings can be challenging, especially when someone won’t respect your wishes—which is why this woman shared her story with Reddit’s “AITA” subreddit.
In the subreddit, Redditors can share any conflict they’re having with the community and have the members within judge with three verdicts: NTA (Not the a—hole), YTA (You’re the a—hole), or ESH (Everybody sucks here).
This young woman wants to know if she would be the a—hole (AH) for uninviting her college friend from her wedding because of her dress color.
With her wedding approaching in August, the bride has been confirming RSVPs to finalize things. Eventually, she talked with one of her college friends, and the topic of wedding clothes came up.
Her friend “B” hasn’t been to a non-family wedding before, so she was particularly excited about the wedding. While her friend “B” is “ethnically white,” the bride is South Asian; therefore, her wedding won’t be like a traditional western wedding with a white dress.
“B” wanted to wear a sari to her wedding, so she ended up telling her “a few places she could get a nice one and she went shopping,” but she made sure to tell her that she couldn’t wear red because “red was [their] bridal color so it should be avoided.”
Despite her warning, her friend “fell in love with a red and gold sari” and bought it for the wedding.
She told her again that red was her bridal color and that “she needs to find another outfit.”
“B” told her that it wouldn’t matter on the day, but she was offended because “that’s the equivalent of someone wearing a white dress to a western wedding.”
Now “B” refuses to compromise her outfit because she doesn’t have another occasion to wear it, but the bride is uncomfortable with her wearing red and gold on her big day.
Would she be the AH for uninviting her over this?
With a unanimous vote from fellow Redditors, the bride was deemed NTA.
Many like “banjo_fandango” felt if her friend was going to continue pushing to wear the sari, then she should “stay home and wear it there.”
Other users agreed, one Redditor mentioning that they felt “secondhand embarrassment” just imagining the guest sitting home wearing the sari because she thought it was okay to wear it to a wedding.
Some users felt it was offensive to ignore someone’s wishes blatantly.
“JohnDanwick” felt that what “B” did was disrespectful, and “[h]er not having another occasion to wear it is not [her] problem,” so she shouldn’t feel bad.
Another Redditor agreed and wondered if it was because OP’s wedding is “a culture not her own” that she felt comfortable disrespecting her friend as she did.
And a majority of Reddit users pointed out that “B” didn’t seem like a true friend.
One user felt that by “B” knowingly buying the red sari, she is trying to pressure the bride into letting her wear it. That isn’t a sign of a real friend.
“-Dollface” agreed, feeling that what “B” did was “super selfish and entitled.” Dressing up seems more important than supporting her friend on her wedding day.
Ashley Darkwa-Anto is a writer at YourTango based in New Jersey. She covers News & Entertainment.