Photo: Dmytrenko Vlad | Shutterstock
It probably wasn't the right thing to say.
By Nia Tipton — Written on Dec 01, 2022
A woman is being defended after failing to show excitement after her sister-in-law announced her pregnancy.
The woman posted about the incident to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA), a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them.
In her Reddit post, the woman explained that her brother works at a car rental agency and her sister-in-law is a stay-at-home mother to their 4-year-old.
Her brother is currently the breadwinner between them, and he's received additional money from the woman and their mother to keep himself and his family afloat.
"Some time ago, my sister-in-law told me she wanted another child because she didn't want their son to be an only child and asked me what I think," she wrote.
The woman advised her sister-in-law to not have another baby because of their financial troubles.
She told her sister-in-law that she should wait to have a baby until her brother was promoted or until she got a job.
"I told her it would be realistically impossible to provide for another child when you're barely coasting by and that she was still young [27 years old]. I also told my brother the same thing."
However, after telling her sister-in-law she should wait to get pregnant again, the woman received a call from her brother several weeks after letting her know that he and his wife were expecting another child.
While she congratulated her brother, she didn't call her sister-in-law and didn't go to their house for the baby shower.
She eventually had to see her sister-in-law at a dinner hosted by the woman's parents, where her sister-in-law told the woman that she was pregnant.
"I told her 'yeah I know, that's great I wish you good luck.' She then said 'so? That's it?' I asked her what she meant and she said 'aren't you happy for us?'"
She told her sister-in-law that she was "making a mistake" by being pregnant again.
At first, she tried to keep her opinions to herself, telling her sister-in-law that her reaction to the pregnancy is "irrelevant" to the news.
But, her sister-in-law continued begging to hear the truth about what she thought, so the woman bluntly told her that she was "making a mistake and this innocent child is going to suffer the consequences."
She told her sister-in-law that she's "not ready to care for another little life when [she] can't even pay [her] bills."
"She interrupted me and said 'what the hell, that's none of your f-king business. I only asked you out of politeness but you really didn't hold back at all.'"
The woman replied that she was only trying to be honest, but her sister-in-law rebutted that she didn't need to be a "douche" about her being pregnant.
After leaving the dinner, the woman's mother called her and complained that she'd been rude to her sister-in-law and had "no right to make any comment."
"She said I should have congratulated them properly and left it at that. That even if she was the one who asked for my opinion I should've known better than to hurt her with those words."
A majority of people who commented on the woman's Reddit post agreed that she was NTA (Not The A-hole).
"Maybe you should’ve been kinder or phrased it better but she shouldn’t be sheltered from the truth when she literally asked for it," one user wrote.
Another user added, "You tried to congratulate them and let it go and [your sister-in-law] pushed you. Your mom should not be upset with you when you tried to congratulate them."
"Sometimes people ask for a truth they’re not ready to receive. You’re not a bad person for giving it anyway, but some people will judge you for that," a third user chimed in.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.