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Woman Wonders If She Is Wrong For Refusing To Babysit Child Her Husband Fathered While Having An Affair

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woman refuses to babysit stepdaughter

After refusing to babysit her stepdaughter, one woman went to Reddit and posted on the AITA(Am I The A-hole?) Subreddit to ask people for their opinions.

AITA is a thread where people post their situation and internet users comment their thoughts.

This woman wrote that her husband cheated on her 3 years ago with their mutual friend, Jane. However, after a lot of discussion and counseling, the woman decided to stay with her husband.

She further wrote that her husband is still in touch with Jane as they have a daughter together and she is also actively involved in that child’s life.

“It was difficult but we managed to find a coparenting situation that worked best for us, however it required a lot of sacrifice on my part.”

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The woman made some major changes in her life to take care of her stepdaughter. She wrote, “She [Jane] was nervous about day care so my husband said that I would have to give up my job to take care of her, as I made the least money between us.” 

But, after years of compromises the woman is putting her foot down and is refusing to help out with childcare for an upcoming event.

Her husband insisted that she cancel her birthday plans to babysit her stepdaughter, however the woman refused.

The woman wrote that her husband is planning to attend his brother’s wedding and Jane is also going as her best friend is the bride and she is the bridesmaid.

That meant that the woman would have to babysit her stepdaughter.

She mentioned that she doesn't have anything against her stepdaughter, however, this weekend just wasn't a good time for her.

She wrote, “Usually this would be fine, as I love her very much, but the weekend of the wedding is also my birthday weekend, and my best friend had planned a trip away for us both.”   

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The woman then voiced her plans to her husband and he agreed to talk to Jane about making other plans. However, that didn’t work out as her husband told her that Jane wasn’t comfortable with someone else taking care of her daughter.

The woman further wrote, “The trip/wedding is this weekend so I told him there was no way I was letting my friend lose the money she spent on the trip… I was going to attend my birthday trip and they would have to decide which one of them missed the wedding.”  

After that, they got into a fight with the husband blaming the woman for not making adjustments for the sake of her stepdaughter.

The woman wondered if she was wrong so went to Reddit to ask other people what they think.

Internet users quite clearly saw that the woman didn’t do anything wrong and that her husband was being inconsiderate, given that the weekend was her birthday.

One user wrote, “Your husband prioritizes the wants and needs of Jane and his daughter and you are his live in childcare. He doesn’t even want to bring you to his brothers wedding? On your birthday? For a weekend? He doesn’t want to do anything nice for you?”

Many other users were enraged by the situation and questioned the woman as to why she was still with the man after he cheated on her.

Another user wrote, “LEAVE. File for divorce, he has a child outside of the marriage so you definitely have grounds. Please don't waste the only life you have with this fool.”

Another user commented, “It shows how little your husband values you or your marriage. He should be spending time with his child… He is her father and can put his foot down about this but isn't. You have plans. Your plans are not less important than his.”

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Sanika Nalgirkar, M.F.A. is a writer who covers entertainment & news, lifestyle, and pop culture topics.

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