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Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Prioritizing Her Rescue Parrot Over Her Stepdaughter's Wedding

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Woman and a parrot

A woman is being called "cold and emotionless" after skipping her stepdaughter's wedding to care for her pet rescue parrot.

Posting to the "r/AmITheA--hole" (AITA), where people go for help determining if they're in the wrong in a conflict, she explained how the situation happened.

In her post, she described how her rescue macaw is very needy due to it coming from an abusive previous owner, and how she hasn't taken a vacation in three years because of it.

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The woman declined to attend her stepdaughter's wedding because she had to care for her parrot.

She explains that she and her stepdaughter had always had a good relationship. She met her stepdaughter's father when she was 16 and they married shortly after she went to college.

Nowadays, the woman's stepdaughter lives out of state and is planning a large traditional wedding.

She also has a two-year-old child, and invited the woman to visit to help with wedding planning and spend time with her step-grandchild.

When she declined, her stepdaughter was very hurt and demanded to know why. She explained that her parrot "distrusts everyone and is very reliant on her routine" and is a "permanent toddler."

She also added that "I love [my parrot] deeply and I'm happy to make sacrifices for her."

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The bride was deeply offended and "caused a massive fuss," accusing her stepmother of snubbing her.

The stepmother writes her stepdaughter lamented that "she never got a mother figure" and said her stepmother has never accepted her "as my full-blood daughter."

She also called her stepmother's decision "the ultimate snub for a silly animal" and called her "cold and emotionless."

She notes that while her stepdaughter's father is refusing to take sides, "I can tell he agrees with her" and that she is very hurt by that.

She also says she doesn't "see why I should be expected to take holiday time off work to babysit and 'bond' all of a sudden and I don't see how I'm a monster for this."

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Many Reddit users thought the woman was ridiculous, but not everyone agreed.

One user asked, "Question. Are you literally never going to leave the bird ever again? If so that is not healthy."

Another took the stepmother to task, writing, "You do realize that 'bonding' time with your stepdaughter and grandchild is just as much, if not more, important than 'bonding' with your macaw...?"

But others pointed out that the stepmother is actually right about her parrot—it actually is sometimes legitimately a problem to leave a rescue parrot alone.

As one user explained, "Unless you know parrots in general (and how people finicky they can be especially abused ones), this isn't an animal you can simply drop off at a pet sitter."

And some felt the stepdaughter was out of line. One user commented, "The step-daughter hasn't visited in...years, two of which she's had a child."

"Suddenly when it's her big wedding, she wants step-gramma to swoop in and bond with her two-year-old while step-daughter plans for her wedding?"

Another person agreed, writing, "The thing about relationships...is they require effort and attention. Just because you're related...doesn't mean someone is entitled to your presence."

In the end, the stepmother updated her post to say that her fellow Redditors' comments had made her reconsider the situation and have a heart-to-heart with her stepdaughter.

Her stepdaughter admitted to wanting a closer relationship and a mother figure after seeing how close the groom is to her future mother-in-law. 

The stepmother in turn copped to being "a crazy bird lady," and the two were able to meet in the middle. 

Sometimes we just have to accept each other's shortcomings, parrot obsession and all.

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John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.