Photo: antoniodiaz / Shutterstock
This situation is incredibly messy.
By Nia Tipton — Written on Jan 24, 2022
Sometimes it can be awkward hearing about your partner's past relationships, or maybe bumping into their previous ex on a night out.
Usually in those instances, you never have to meet or think about them ever again, except when you're partner's ex turns out to actually be your midwife.
One woman, who posted her extremely awkward situation on Mumsnet, shared that she had found out one of her midwives slept with her partner years ago, before the mom-to-be had met said partner.
The mom is unsure if she wants a midwife who was once with her partner to deliver their baby.
“It's a small team there is a high chance she could be my midwife,” the woman wrote in her post. "Would you be ok with this? Yay or nay."
There were some comments under the woman's post who felt that it wasn't a big deal, and the woman shouldn't let it bother her.
"If it was a long time ago, I'm not sure it would bother me, depends on the circumstances really," one commenter wrote.
"I mean it’s not ideal, but it was years ago so I don’t see why this has to be a big deal now," another commenter said.
"If she is your midwife and does not maintain professional conduct, request a different midwife at the time. There’s a chance she doesn’t know [you're] dating him, and a higher chance she doesn’t care regardless."
"Wouldn't bother me," a third person added. "It's in the past."
While there were some comments claiming it wasn't anything to worry about, there were also comments under the post that said the complete opposite.
"It would be a big nope from me," one user wrote. "Quite enough intense emotions swirling around childbirth without having to deal with that undercurrent. I'd ask early on that she not be involved in your care."
"I wouldn't like it. I'd probably keep thinking about it, and then feel guilty because it was years ago... not really what you want as part of pregnancy care," another user commented.
"No," a third user added. "Just ask for another midwife if there are enough but she has probably moved on and may not even remember your [partner].
"She may feel more comfortable with that but what would you do if she was the only one available or was the one who saved you and baby."
The woman further explained that she had found out about the midwife and her partner through a Facebook page for the midwife clinic, which showed a photo of her partner's ex.
"[My partner] was like 'oh, this is awkward,'" the woman explained.
The woman continued, saying that it didn't particularly bother her, but was thinking it would probably be a bit distracting.
"I'm not fussed about her really," she said.
"I'm just more thinking it may be distracting on the day, if she looks at him or vice versa who knows what my hormones will do."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Follow her on Instagram.