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A Woman Insulted Her Friend's Husband After He Mocked His Wife's Baby Weight Gain — 'What's Your Excuse?'

Photo: Mylena Marins / Pexels
pregnant woman in bikini

A woman asked Reddit if she was wrong for standing up to her friend’s boyfriend after he made a disparaging remark about her appearance.

The 22-year-old woman explained on the subreddit r/AmITheA-hole that she and her boyfriend invited her best friend, Jenny, 23, and her husband, Tom, 26, over for dinner and a dip in their hot tub.

The woman insulted her friend’s husband after he mocked his wife’s weight gain after having a baby.

The woman explained that she and her boyfriend had them over to meet the new baby. After dinner, she invited them both to go in the hot tub. She explained that her boyfriend wasn’t into it, so he held the baby while the other three got into their bathing suits.

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Jenny wore a bikini. Her friend said, “I thought she looked amazing, really happy and glowing.” But Jenny’s husband, Tom, made a snide comment about her "still having some weight to lose before she’d be as attractive as she was before her pregnancy."

Photo: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels

In the Reddit post, the woman said she was stunned by what he said about his own wife and “started wondering what he might be saying to her in private if he was comfortable dropping lines like that in front of other people.”

“The dude has a hefty beer belly and a double chin but thinks he can joke about a new mom’s weight?” she asked.

She stood up for her friend by retorting, ‘She just had a baby. What’s your excuse?’

Tom reacted defensively, telling her she needed to “learn how to take a joke.” Jenny reacted by laughing slightly, and the woman thought that was that.

Only once the woman and her boyfriend were alone, he told her that she “shouldn’t have reacted at all because it really wasn’t [her] business.” She reported, “I think Tom’s reaction speaks for itself and it makes me wonder whether I might’ve been the a–hole in that situation.”

The people who commented on her post unanimously agreed that she wasn’t the a–hole. Many even praised her for her just response, stating, “Insulting your partner in front of other people deserves a calling out.”

“We cannot tolerate the intolerable,” explained one person, who believed Tom was acting like a bully to his wife.

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Some people even called out the woman’s boyfriend for how he reacted, pointing out, “he can’t claim it’s a private matter when he said it right in front of you.” Someone else noted, “It’s everyone’s business when someone decides to verbally abuse someone in public.”

They recommended that the woman should “support [her] friend as best [she] can and keep checks in. They also advised her to “have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about his values because no one should be comfortable remaining silent in the face of that kind of nasty behavior.”

Photo: ofarias g / Pexels

We live in a society where women’s weight is constantly patrolled. Beauty is defined by unbearably narrow standards — if you’re not thin, you’re not considered attractive.

Women who become mothers are subject to the impossible requirement of losing weight immediately after having a baby. For a woman to carry a baby for nine months, and then endure the literal labor of giving birth, is a feat of strength, an act that changes your body and soul.

Upholding the narrative that new moms have to lose weight is dangerous. No woman’s worth should ever be judged by her weight, especially after bringing new life into this world.

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Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.