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Her other children were invited.
By Megan Quinn — Written on Feb 28, 2023
A mother was faced with a difficult decision to make after two of her children were invited to their uncle’s wedding, but her eldest was excluded.
Her husband insists that she come to the wedding and leave her older daughter behind for the sake of their other children.
However, the mother does not want her daughter to feel abandoned, even though her husband’s family does consider her to be a part of theirs. She ultimately declined her own invitation to the wedding.
The 12-year-old was not invited to her uncle’s wedding because she is not biologically related to him.
Sharing her story on the U.K.-based parenting forum, Mumsnet, the woman asked other users if she was making the right decision by refusing to attend the wedding her oldest daughter, whom she had in a previous relationship, was not invited to.
She began her post by revealing that her brother-in-law is getting married soon after a failed engagement with another woman.
Initially, the wedding was child-free, which upset the woman’s husband and mother-in-law, since his children and her grandchildren would be excluded from the event.
While she was also upset, the woman kept her silence since it was not her wedding, therefore not her rules.
A few weeks later, the family noticed that on the soon-to-be-married couple’s wedding website, there was a ring-bearer and flower girl in their wedding party, meaning that there would be children present during the celebration.
“My husband and mother-in-law spoke to my brother-in-law and he seemed scared to rock the boat,” the woman wrote. However, later that week, invitations arrived for her and her husband’s two younger children they share together.
Her 12-year-old daughter from her previous relationship did not receive an invite.
The woman’s mother-in-law is refusing to intervene this time. While she claims that her husband spoke with his brother and his fiancé, who told him that the girl was “absolutely not” invited to their wedding.
Her husband suggested that her daughter’s father take her for the day while they and their other children attended the wedding.
Although, the woman is refusing, not wanting any of her children to be excluded. Her decision did not go over well with her husband.
“He wants his children there and thinks we will look stupid anyway if we now decline their invitations after all the fuss,” she wrote.
Forum users supported the woman’s decision and called out her husband’s family for their unfair treatment of her daughter.
“Excluding one child out of three is disgusting,” one user commented. “I would be questioning my future with this man knowing his true feelings about my child.”
“Not inviting one child in a family of five is awful,” another user wrote. “I don’t think you can stop your husband taking the other children but you can make a stand by not going yourself and doing something nice with the 12 year old instead.”
“Awful behavior! You're doing the right thing declining,” another user shared.
However, other users called out the woman’s husband for making a fuss over the originally child-free wedding in the first place.
“It was rude of them to say only your husband’s children, but if you hadn't pushed and tried to get them to change their childfree wedding for you, then they wouldn't have been forced to choose only your husband’s children,” one user wrote.
“You should have respected that childfree means absolutely that, and no exceptions.”
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.