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Her mother-in-law accused her of being a child abuser.
By Nia Tipton — Written on May 21, 2022
A woman is wondering if it's wrong for her to keep her mother-in-law from meeting her new baby after she accused her of being cruel to her step-daughter.
Posting to the subreddit 'AITA' (Am I The A--hole), the woman explained that she's been with her husband since his daughter, Lina, was 13.
She has always struggled with her relationship with her stepdaughter, prompting her mother-in-law to grow concerned.
Lina wasn't very happy that the woman was her stepmother, and didn't want her to marry her father in the first place.
"She was not a bad child, wasn't acting out, but literally nothing made her happy. She never smiled, never expressed any interest or enthusiasm about anything," the woman wrote in her Reddit post.
The woman's mother-in-law, Lina's grandmother, was concerned about Lina's wellbeing and accused the woman and her husband of having done something to her.
They eventually had to set boundaries because the woman's mother-in-law would constantly ask Lina completely inappropriate questions and was implying that they were doing something to her.
"Lina reacted badly to these boundaries and began acting out. It was such a mess, and I felt like such a failure, because no matter what we did she just was not happy," she continued, adding that Lina was in therapy, and the entire family participated in group therapy.
When Lina turned 18, she ended up moving out and became extremely happy, which made the woman and her husband feel even worse and gave her mother-in-law more ammunition to say that they had done something to her.
Her mother-in-law would ask Lina multiple times, and in front of others, if something had happened while she was living with her stepmother and father.
Lina would deny that anything had happened, and said that the reason she was unhappy was that she didn't like living with her dad's partner and couldn't relax with a "stranger" in the house.
"That really hurt because I tried to bond with her and her dad tried to maintain a relationship with her, but she was just so shut down."
Recently the woman found out that her mother-in-law had even gone as far as to call her a "child abuser."
She also tells people that she hates the woman as well.
When she confronted her about the things she'd been saying, her mother-in-law started crying about how hard it was to watch Lina be so unhappy and that she knows they did something to her.
The woman shared that she has been wanting to have a baby with her husband for years, and they finally welcomed their daughter three months ago.
"[Mother-in-law] has been acting like it is just a given that she will meet her, but I decided that I don't want her to. I am too worried about having someone who hates me and makes these accusations," she explained.
The woman's husband agreed with her, but Lina ended up uninviting him to her graduation dinner and said, "If I think I can use boundaries to bully people, then he can have fun with her new boundaries and just never see her again."
Now her husband is very upset because his oldest daughter won't speak to him, and is now asking his wife to just let his mother see the baby.
Most people who commented under the woman's Reddit post were in agreement that she was NTA (Not The A--hole).
"I would not let your MIL have any contact either. She is telling people you’re a child abuser. And your stepdaughter is saying your boundaries are to bully people? She is young, acting out because she thinks you are too," one user commented.
Another user commented, "I would never let someone like this interact with a baby. Who knows what she might say now? She could be perfectly fine, but why risk the chance? She could scream "abuse" with this baby. Your boundaries aren't bullying, it's for safety.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Follow her on Instagram.