Woman Says The Whole 'Feminism Thing' Is Great But Women Forget The 'Power We Have In Playing Dumb & Acting Stupid'

She claimed that women should start using weaponized incompetence in the same way men do.

Alyssa on TikTok @alyssacardib / TikTok

A woman on TikTok explained why women should be pretending to act incompetent to force men to step up and do things for them.

In a TikTok video, Alyssa informed her female viewers why they should start using "weaponized incompetence" in the same way that men do when faced with a problem or situation. She pointed out that it works, and can eliminate the difficult tasks that women may know how to do, but just choose not to.


She pointed out that women forget the power they hold by pretending to act dumb.

"Listen, the whole feminism thing... rock on, I'm right there with you, but I think we're forgetting the power that we have in playing dumb and acting stupid," Alyssa began in her video. "We can do things, but we shouldn't have to."

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She continued, recalling a time when she had gotten a flat tire, and while she knew how to change one and had all of the equipment in the back of her car, she proceeded to fake a phone call to her father and pretended that she didn't know the first thing about how to change a tire.




"A man walks out and says, 'Do you need help?'" Alyssa said, adding that she continued to fake not knowing how to change a tire so that the man who volunteered to help her would do it instead. "He gets on his hands and knees, and uses his big manly muscles to crank the little jack and take the tire off and put the new one back on."

Alyssa recounted watching him put the new tire on her car while lifting the old one and putting it back on her car without having to lift a finger herself. "Could I have done that? Absolutely, I could have. Did I know how to do it? I did, but I didn't want to, and we shouldn't have to, because we're just girls."

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The ideologies of feminism are undermined when women choose to pretend to act stupid or play dumb.

While Alyssa's video was meant to be humorous, it definitely raises the notion that women playing dumb or acting stupid is often associated with gender stereotypes and harmful societal expectations. While some women may employ such behavior as a strategic approach in certain contexts, as Alyssa mentioned in her video, it is important to note that it does not contribute to the overall goals of feminism. 

For women to then pretend to be dumb and act stupid, only suggests that women are inherently less intelligent or capable than men. 

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By engaging in behavior that intentionally suppresses their intelligence or abilities, women deny themselves the opportunity to showcase their talents and contribute fully to society. True empowerment comes from embracing and celebrating one's strengths, not hiding them.


In the comments section, many women leaned into Alyssa's opinion and shared instances of using weaponized incompetence on men. "I'm only independent when my husband has to travel for work. As soon as he gets home, I forget how to do everything," one TikTok user joked.

Another user added, "[A] couple [of] weeks into dating my husband I got a flat tire and he was out there in a blizzard changing it while my bestie and I stayed warm in the car."

At its core, feminism is about challenging and dismantling systems of oppression, advocating for equal rights, and promoting gender justice. Playing dumb or acting stupid does not address the root causes of gender inequality and fails to address the larger systemic issues that feminism seeks to address.


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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.