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Absent Father Wonders If He Was Wrong To Walk Out Of Son's Wedding After Being Excluded From Speech

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absent father walks out of sons wedding after being excluded from speech

This devastated father posted to the AITA (Am I The A-hole?) Subreddit after wondering if he was wrong to walk out of his son’s wedding after not getting a mention in the wedding speech. 

The father wrote on Reddit that his son, Justin, recently got married. However, Justin didn’t mention him in his speech and it seems there was a reason for that. 

The father wrote, “I wasn't physically involved in Justin's childhood because his mom and I got separated and I had to travel a lot for work so his stepdad was more available then I was.”

The father further mentioned that both of them never really got along because he was absent from his son's life.

He wrote, “During his teenage years, Justin started having fights with me saying stuff like I prioritized work over him…even though I provided for him financially but he claimed that ‘it's only because the law made me’ which isn't true at all.”

However, he mentioned that, in recent years, they had been getting along fine. He had even been acquainted with Justin’s wife before the ceremony. But things didn't go well at the wedding for the father.

The father even paid for the wedding venue, but still wasn't mentioned in his son's speech.

He felt disrespected after hearing his son’s speech that didn’t include him, so he got up and walked out.

“I felt so heavy I decided to leave the wedding early. I went home and broke down but then I calmed down,” the father wrote.

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Later, Justin called him and asked why he did such a thing. The father tried to brush it off at first, but after Justin’s insistence, he opened up.

The father voiced his feelings but Justin ridiculed him for feeling that way.

The father wrote, “I asked him to respect how I felt but he argued he wasn't going to lie to make me happy. I asked what he meant because as far as I know, part of his wedding was paid for by me.” 

That discussion soon ended and they hung up. However, the father was quite upset, so he called Justin and this time, their discussion led to an argument.

RELATED: Man Wonders If It Was Wrong To Joke About Friend's First Marriage During Best Man's Speech At Second Wedding

The father believed that he deserved a little respect since he paid for the wedding. However, Justin felt differently claiming, that he owed his father nothing. 

Later, the man’s wife also agreed with Justin and told him how he had ruined his son’s wedding by walking out like that. So, the father went to Reddit to ask for an unbiased opinion.

While some people thought that the father was wrong, some were defending him.

Many people claimed that he was just trying to compensate for his absence in his son’s life with money and that he had no right to feel upset.

One user said, “Tossing some money his way doesn't suddenly make you a dad or a very important part of his life. Of course he is happy you paid for things, but his mother and stepfather are his parents.”

Another user said, “You weren’t there for most of his life and now you’re surprised that you’re not as significant to him as his mom and step-dad who WERE there? Be grateful for the relationship you have now, be grateful you were even invited to the wedding.” 

Some people also pointed out that both of them were in the wrong. People felt that they could’ve handled the situation more maturely since they are adults.

One user wrote, “Of course you felt hurt that you weren’t mentioned. And of course your son was hurt that you weren’t around. You’re both hurt! Now start apologizing to each other and trying new approaches.”

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Sanika Nalgirkar, M.F.A. is a writer who covers entertainment & news, lifestyle, and pop culture topics.