Mom Shares That School Had 'No Empathy' After Banning Her Daughter From School Dance Because She Missed Class Due To Her Disability
Administrators argued that the student was not "contagious" and could have attended class.
speedkingz / sirtravelalot / Shutterstock A mother was left enraged after speaking with her daughter’s school administrators who informed her that her daughter was forbidden from attending a school dance. The reason? Her daughter missed too many school days as a result of her disability and illness.
Administrators claim that, as per school regulations, they cannot allow students who have missed a certain number of days to attend after-school events and that their hands were tied. However, the girl’s mother is not too sure about that.
A mother slammed her daughter’s school administrators for having ‘no empathy’ and banning her from her eighth grade dance.
A TikTok video that has been viewed over 19,000 times depicted an audio recording captured by a mother during a meeting with her daughter’s school administrators. Both the name of the mother and the school are anonymous.
In the recording, the mother can be heard telling administrators that her daughter informed her that she was “not allowed” to go to her eighth grade dance after she was absent from school on that particular day.
Administrators confirmed that this was true. “Kids that don’t come to school, they can’t [go to the dance],” one of them said. She added that school regulations prevent students who are not present in school to attend after-school events.
Since the woman’s daughter missed over half the day of school, it counted as an absence.
The mother claims that her daughter has a disability and a medical condition that prevents her from attending school every now and then.
She argued that she has documents from medical professionals confirming her daughter’s disability. Additionally, the young girl has had to endure chemotherapy treatments that have left her ill and in “excruciating pain” for years.
Due to her medical conditions, the mother shared that her daughter has an IEP (Individualized Education Program), a document under U.S. law that is developed for each child attending public school who needs special education. The child’s parents and school district work together to create an education plan that meets the specific needs of the student.
Students who have an IEP may have modified school hours that do not require them to be in school for a full day, especially if they have medical conditions or disabilities that prevent them from doing so.
When the mother shared with school administrators that she could not attend class that morning after she became sick from her chemotherapy medication, one administrator replied, “She’s not contagious,” implying that she could have made it to school for the full day.
The administrators continued to argue that school regulations forbid the girl from attending the dance; however, the mother claimed that she is being discriminated against.
Photo: Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock
“You’re discriminating against someone who has a disability who cannot sometimes make it to school,” she said. She added that the dance should be available to all eighth graders regardless of their attendance record.
“The logic is that she was not able to attend school because she was not feeling well, then she is not able to attend after school because she’s not feeling well,” an administrator alleged. The mother called them out for not making an exemption for her daughter due to her illness, which primarily affects her in the mornings, making it difficult to arrive at school on time.
The administrators were heard telling the mother that other students who did not attend school that day were also not welcome to the dance. “We’re not talking about other students, we’re talking about my student,” she said.
She reminded the administrators that they ultimately had the power to make the call of whether or not her daughter had the right to attend the dance despite regulations.
By the conclusion of the meeting, it appeared that the school didn't back down on its decision. When the mother asked for a note in writing that states her daughter is not permitted to the dance, they refused her request.
“The lack of empathy these people have is unreal!” the mother wrote in the caption of her video. “They had all the medical documentation but they didn't care!”
“People like this should not hold any power and they certainly have no business in education! They need different jobs that allow them to be the robots they are, completely heartless individuals!” she added.
Luckily, the woman’s daughter ultimately did make it to the school dance.
“Thankfully, after we left the meeting someone talked some sense into them and she did end up going,” the mother shared in the text overlay of the video.
Still, she wanted to post the recording to expose the heartlessness and discrimination demonstrated by her daughter’s school administrators. “It is truly a power flex they love to hold over children with disabilities!” she wrote.
Photo: Alena Ozerova / Shutterstock
People extended their support to the mother and daughter, encouraging them to take legal action against the school.
“Oh my gosh. My heart goes out to her,” one user commented. “Get that written form, take it to the board of education or the state or whatever, get them fired and unable to get a similar position ever again,” another user recommended.
Others shared their own similar experiences of being discriminated against by their schools and being barred from events.
“I was homebound in high school and had a 504 (similar to an IEP). I wasn’t allowed to attend any dances or sports events, also when I was on a half-day plan I wasn’t either,” one user revealed. “It’s so unfair and I felt alienated and so lonely. Kids shouldn’t miss out on important events.”
It is important to note that each school abides by different regulations when it comes to attendance and participation in school events. However, in this case, it is clear that the rules could be bent for the woman’s daughter, who is very obviously already dealing with enough.
There are a decent amount of students who have disabilities that attend public schools, with New York State having the highest percentage of 19.2%, per federal data.
While some of their class schedules may have to undergo adjustments as needed and they may miss school hours, this should not make them a target for school administrators banning them from school events. It is essential that they are welcome to all campus activities among their peers to promote an inclusive environment.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.