My Dad Said Something To Me 15 Years Ago That Changed My Life

Winning at life means different things to different people.

dad talking to daughter P from Aminah Kadir's Images, gvictoria, AIMSTOCK / Canva

A transformation coach named Tanya has built a wide following online by helping people heal the wounds they carry along with them, through manifestation and self-projection. She shares content that focuses on shifting mindsets that keep people stuck.

In one video, she revealed a conversation that helped shift her own mindset.

‘My dad said something to me 15 years ago that changed my life,’ Tanya shared. 

In a recent TikTok video, she spoke directly to anyone who feels like they’re unlucky, as though they’ve been dealt a bad hand of cards in the game of life. She noted that some people seem more “blessed” than others, that “things flow to them, they manifest really well,” while others struggle more.


She explained that her father told her that she was dealt difficult cards, “but just because you were dealt bad cards doesn’t mean you can’t win.”



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The words her father shared were a gift that changed her perspective on the life she’d been given, allowing her to imagine a different future for herself. 


“In a game of cards, there’s people that bluff and they win the game,” she stated. 

She acknowledged that even though she felt unlucky, she could still win in life, and that lesson resonated deeply enough to shift her way of thinking.

It’s valuable to recognize that what one person defines as “winning” in life depends on their own values and lived experiences.

Winning might mean being grateful for the community you’re surrounded by, the work you do, and the people who text you just to say they’re thinking of you. It might mean appreciating the simple gifts you do have, as opposed to focusing on what you lack in life.  

woman changed her mindset after father gave her important advicePhoto: Arina Krasnikova / Pexels 


An article from the journal Trends in Cognitive Sciences defines self-projection as "the ability to shift perspective from the immediate present to alternative perspective [which] includes thinking about the future (prospection), remembering the past, conceiving the viewpoint of others (theory of mind) and navigation."

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There’s inherent value to be found in the various ways we approach life; what works for one person might not work for someone else. It seems like Tanya’s focus as a self-projection coach is to offer people different modalities towards healing, opening their minds to what they have.

It’s important to recognize that luck is a subjective concept. It’s also important to note that a lot of what holds people back in life as “unlucky” people is due to overarching structural issues, like being stuck in cycles of poverty, violence, or addiction.


woman changed her mindset after father gave her important advicePhoto: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels

Yet what Tanya shared, in terms of reframing her mindset, deeply resonated with her followers. So much of life is out of our control. What remains solidly in our control is how we approach the world, and how we enter our lived experience. 

Everyone deserves to live a life in which they feel appreciated and fulfilled. Happiness is a human birthright, yet there’s no one path to find it.


What Tanya’s story reveals is that shifting the way we view ourselves is part of the healing process. She was able to change her perspective on being unlucky and create the life she wanted to live, all with the help of her father's wise words.

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Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers mental health, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.