A Mother’s Grief After Realizing She Had To Let Her Daughter Go After Giving Her Many Chances To Change Her Lifestyle

It's one of the most difficult choices she ever had to make.

woman in the dark with blanket around her and hand reaching out to her Motortion Films / Shutterstock

If you’ve ever experienced a family member spiraling into addiction, you know exactly how painful and heart-wrenching it can be. You can’t understand why they simply won’t stop doing it to themselves and eventually have to make the choice between continuing an indefinite fight or letting go for your own peace and sanity.

One woman was faced with such a decision when her daughter refused to change her lifestyle.

In a series of videos uploaded to TikTok, a woman who goes by “Nurse123” shared her story of struggling to get her daughter to turn her life around. The first clip was just 18 seconds long, but the message was clear. It was captioned “Me letting my daughter go after multiple failed rehabs and many chances to change her lifestyle.”


It showed a clip from the 2001 Pixar film, Monsters, Inc. where the character, James P. Sullivan opened a door and allowed the little girl, Boo, to go out into the world on her own. He was saddened as he stepped back inside and closed the door behind her, leaving her to her own devices.

The description under the video reads, “A mother’s grief after realizing she had to let her daughter go after giving her many chances to change her lifestyle.”



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As transparent as this mother was about her daughter’s battle, it seems that some people took issue with her decision.

The mother uploaded a follow-up video suggesting that some people didn't agree that she had done all she could to help her daughter. Though comments had been turned off on the first video, a second one was uploaded, and that description said, “To all the hater comments about me letting her go, she is home now 60 days sober.”



That particular clip was captioned, “When your daughter calls for you to pick her up and says, ‘I’m done’.” Then she showed a young child in the backseat eagerly waiting for her sister to come to the car. She craned her neck and peered out the window trying to catch a glimpse of her older sibling as her mother asked, “Who is it?”

The girl was uncertain who she was looking for since she did not readily spot her sister, but eventually, the older, recovered sibling approached the car. Her face wasn’t visible, but her body language appeared to be that of someone who was happy to see their family. She said, “Hi, baby!” as she greeted her baby sister in the backseat and agreed when the girl asked her to sit next to her.


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Drug addiction is a complicated matter.

As a person who has unfortunately had the experience of dealing with the addictions of two siblings, I can tell you that it is no walk in the park. Those of us who don’t understand the lifestyle find it hard to fathom why anyone would want to live like that. Because we don’t have experience with drug addiction, it often seems to us that the people we love can just stop and get their lives back.

But it’s not that simple. Being addicted to drugs is like any other addiction such as food, toxic relationships, or alcohol. Once you become accustomed to it, it feels like you need it for your survival, and in many cases, quitting substances cold turkey can result in death. So, it becomes a vicious cycle. You have to feed your addiction to live, and you live for your addiction, becoming a shell of your former self.

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And for family members who witness your downfall, they keep hope alive, remembering the good times when you were cognizant and present — a time when you had so much potential, talent, or beauty. Now, like this mother, they have to mourn the loss of a relative while they are still living (barely) and breathing. They yearn for the closeness the two of you once had but know that it can never exist in your current condition and likely never will. They are forced to defend the indefensible out of love and loyalty but know deep down you are not the same person.

This family was blessed when the daughter overcame her addiction — hopefully permanently. 75% of people who seek to overcome drug addiction are successful, but the key is that they have to seek recovery. With an overdose epidemic in full swing, it’s important that we seek help before it’s too late.

If you or a family member is struggling with drug addiction, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) can help. Reach out to them at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).


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NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington. She covers lifestyle, relationships, and human-interest stories that readers can relate to and that bring social issues to the forefront for discussion.